During the holidays you will meet people who are angry.

They are not just angry about bailouts, boughs of holly or bling…they are angry about everything.

These holiday heathens are, and have been, suffering from “trait anger.”

We are capable of two kinds of anger:  state and trait.  “State anger” is woven into the fabric of our humanity.  It is intended to protect us when we are in danger of psychological and/or physical harm.  State anger is what produces “road rage” when someone cuts you off at 70 mph and proceeds to send your way a non-verbal sign that normally does not need translation.  As soon as the scene changes, so does the state anger.  We normally go back to being normal.

 Trait anger, on the other hand, has “legs.”  It can last not only a long time, but a lifetime.

This type of anger is birthed in victimization.  Somewhere in our life’s scrapbook there is an image that has not faded with the passage of time.  When we go back and turn to that page, this anger is fanned into a roaring torch consuming us all over again.  So, we become comfortable with the horrid memory and its images seep into all of our dealings with other fallible people and institutions.

In other words, trait anger people do not “have” anger; they “are” angry people.  

You know, “We have been taken to the laundry again by the federal government with their bailout bonanza,” “Christmas is a huge annual trick that has been played on us by big business,” “Some kids will probably ruin “Deal or No Deal” with their singing Christmas carols outside our front door again this year,” and “My boss is probably sticking pins in some doll that looks like me right now.”

So, what do you do when you encounter trait anger?  Here are three quick interventions you may want to consider in this season of “goodwill and joy.”

First, if you have the option, absent yourself from these people.  Their “toxic” quality can be air-borne.  Just being in the same square footage can infect the genuinely positive person.

Second, if escape is not possible (you are living with this person, you work for this person, you love this person), make a statement followed by a question.

The statement is, “As I spend time with you, I sense an undercurrent of anger in your responses.  Here are some specific illustrations in the last few days….”

The question is, “Have I read these situations correctly?  If not, help me understand you better.”

Third, if the person does admit to this continuous undercurrent of anger, see if you can understand the root cause.  Without making this a “Dr. Phil” moment, gently walk the person into his/her past and gently introduce the idea there may be a pivotal event so excoriating that all of life has been tainted with this unresolved anger.

All of us can be angry over the presidential election, the price of lemons and Christmas trees showing up in Wal-Mart in July, but these irritants pass with time.  When anger hangs around and then decorates our lives with thin lips spewing the spittle of spite, we have to do something.

Anger can clarify or cripple. 

Anger, without words, is rage. 

Trait anger is a smile without…a symphony.

Check this out.

Sixty-five percent of everyone who is presently using a BlackBerry device decided to make this purchase after hearing an endorsement from another person.

According to the Travel Industry Association, 43% of potential customers making a decision about flights, hotels or rental cars cited family and friends as the deciding factor.

And the list goes on and on.  “Word of mouth” seems to still be potent advertising.  If you want to know more…I have a book just for you.

The Anatomy of Buzz (How to Create Word of Mouth Marketing) by Emanuel Rosen (ISBN 0-385-49667-2) will be a rich addition to any library for those of us who sell a product or service through a reputation.

The specific chapter I recommend is Chapter Eleven, “The Elements of a Good Story.”  You can sell a bar of soap, a software package or a Rolex if you have the right, engaging story.

Need to get a little “buzz” going for your business?  Pick up this book.

New Free Job Satisfaction Assessment

If you believe your coworkers are “enduring” work so they can rush home and push the right button on a TV remote to savor what life is all about…you may want to download a new 14 point job satisfaction survey I have created.  

These 14 areas of your workplace will help you pinpoint sources of organizational dissatisfaction. There is no “key” for this instrument.  Just average the numbers among your coworkers and then identify the internal systems that consistently generate “dissatisfaction.”   

To download the article, go to our website at www.execenrichment.com and choose the Downloadable Resources option.  After filling out a brief form, you’ll see the article.

New LeMon-Look Coming

In the beginning of 2009, LeMonAide will have a different look and additional content.  I have been in the process of visually changing the banners and adding four new topics for your professional growth.  There will also be new electronic options for us to stay in touch.  I am pleased to announce every month there are now over 8,000 of us reading and participating in LeMonAide!  

Most Popular CD Training Program

Out of the seven CD training programs I offer, the most popular continues to be Skills to Work with a Whiner.  Is there someone in your office/workplace who complains about everything and accents these diatribes with a grating voice quality causing paint to peel and blood pressure to rise?  If that person is seated not far from you right now, these 50 minutes may be your salvation.

To order a copy of the CD, go to our website at www.execenrichment.com and choose the Our Products option.  Using PayPal, you’ll be able to order the CD.

I have listened and I am ready to vote.

I am ready to endorse a 25 billion dollar bailout of the Big Three automobile manufacturers with these five provisions.

First, for the next three years the CEO, CFO and COO of these companies work for $1 a year.  The excesses in senior management compensation packages are legion.  I am the first to admit they are justified when the company is turning major bucks, but these companies are teetering on the edge of oblivion.  If these people believe in their companies and the people who work for them, this financial gesture will have significant emotive appeal.  

Second, the corporate jets of the Big Three should be mothballed but made available to every employee to take a tour in the next year.  If there is nothing to hide about what life is like in the upper echelons of power, all employees should get a few minutes to nestle down in the caresses of Corinthian leather.

Third, the rate of interest on this governmental loan will double if the company does not start selling automobiles in three years that are proven to provide a minimum of 32 miles per gallon in city driving.

Fourth, organized labor must renegotiate the terms of its present contract to reflect “shared sacrifice” in order for the company to begin its road to recovery.

Fifth, and most important, each company must submit to the government a business plan for the next ten years that illustrates a timed and verifiable commitment to alternative sources of fuel for the automobile.

If the 25 billion of our dollars is just funding the repeat of bad, self-defeating history, I am in favor of Chapter 11 and we will all take it on the chin with higher unemployment and a greater reliance of foreign made cars and trucks.

This is a perfect opportunity to make hard and profitable choices for the future.

The news is not good.

The airlines have announced they will compensate for their dwindling ticket sales by reducing capacity.  That means they will be taking more planes out of service and squeezing more of us into fewer seats.

Here are three suggestions on how to deal with this increasingly difficult travel challenge.

First, book a seat on the first flight of the day.  On average, there are fewer people who want to start their day zooming over the American landscape at 530 mph.  Who knows, you may get an empty middle seat next to you as you greet the sunrise.

Second, you may want to consider some of the low-cost, no-frills carriers like Southwest, Allegiant or Frontier who do not have the “business jet” equipment in their inventory.  These are the 50-70 passenger jets that will test if you have hidden claustrophobia.  

Third, make your reservation at least 60 days in advance.  With fewer seats to sell, options are greatly reduced the closer you get to your embarkation date.  You may find there are no seats to buy, regardless of the price, the longer you wait.

These are not good times in the airline industry but I am convinced, as a devotee of capitalism, competition will return to this industry and we will be flying high and cheap in the future.

If you would like to personally meet with me during the upcoming months, here is my schedule.  Please call 800-373-4040 to set up an appointment.

When I teach business writing courses I am often asked about the use of “Ms.”

Here are the rules for using this appellation: (1) when a woman has indicated, regardless of marital status, she prefers this appellation, (2) when a woman’s martial status is unknown and (3) when a woman’s marital status is not relevant to the writing situation.  

Note this title always ends with a period.

Like our new President-Elect, I have an addiction to my BlackBerry.  And, like every addiction, I cannot “live without” another peek at that screen that scrolls out enticements with the latest weather forecast, financial meltdown, e-mail, breaking news headline, telephone call, etc.

This addiction, it is starting to cost me.

I had a client come up to me the other day and say, “You know, every time you are not presenting to us you seem to be consulting with your BlackBerry.”  There was tepid laughter, but there was haunting truth.

So, here is what I have decided to do.  Like cleaning my ears with a trunk key, I will adopt the social grace of choosing not consult my BlackBerry unless I am in a private place.  Every time we drop out of a conversation to delve into this vibrating piece of plastic we are broadcasting a clear message that this inanimate device is more important than the throbbing human beings around us. 

The written prayers in this section are Cal’s divine conversations reflecting the needs others have shared with him.

Not much of a Christmas, Lord.  I know You heard…I got my notice at work.

February 1^st is D-day for me.  No more weekly paychecks.  I will miss regular digits because they made me feel safe.

And it really is scary now, God.  I haven’t felt like this in years.

Not much of a Christmas.  Where are the holly-draped, dancing Mr. Fizzywick and peppermint bows now?  I am amazed how a few really bad days on Wall Street can scour and scrap my life raw.

So, God, what’s the good news from heaven today?  Have You any hot stock picks because you are supposed to know everything?  Where are the “good tidings of great joy” and this “Emmanuel” thing?

“The angel said, his name shall be called Emmanuel, God-with-us….”  God-with-us.  Really, God?  The kid in the barn?

Thanks, it wasn’t going to be much of a Christmas.