When should you resign?

Even if resignation has not drifted through your mind in the last half-hour, it is always a smart strategy to determine the conditions that would prompt you to write your own pink slip.

First, I am convinced you should resign if, over a long period of time, you have to sacrifice your ethics on the altar of the regular paycheck.  I know, I know, it is easy for me to say that.

I believe we chink away at our self-worth if we know we are working through a lie each day. 

Second, you should resign if there is no acceptance of your skills.

When your boss or your work team consistently denigrate or remain silent about your professional aptitude, this is not the right place to be dispensing your craft.  It is the age-old passive aggressive method of getting rid of someone by constantly minimizing this person’s contribution to the workplace.  No one has the glands to say, “We have observed you do not know what you are doing here.”  So, take a hike.  Life is too short to work everyday where everyone takes his best shot…at you.

Third, you may want to resign if your job is driving a wedge between you and the people you say “matter most” in your life.  In the process of bringing home the cash, are you trading in intimate relationships (spouse, children)?  At the end of your life you will have immense regret that your 401K cost you…a family.

Fourth, resignation may be an option if there is an in-your-face ceiling on advancement.  What are the options for increased responsibility and financial rewards in your job?  If you have spent time examining your options and find they are nil to zero, it may be time to find another workplace that includes career-pathing that encourages your growth.

Finally, go to your laptop and start writing, “This correspondence is notification of my resignation…” because you despise what you are doing. 

Are you consistently going to a job where you would gladly sever a limb instead of clocking in one more time? 

I am talking about a long history of your body going to work and your mind and your passion making a U-turn back to bed.  Sometimes work is just that…work.

But, if you “hate” what you are doing every day you also know, deep in your neocortex, that your life is waning in remorse. 

A letter of resignation is your best option to that last sentence.

No one remembers how you arrived; everyone remembers how you left.

Life is too short to regret another sunrise.

The greatest sense of freedom is knowing when to walk out the door.

Yes, I paid full price!  I could not wait for this to come out in paperback.

Those of you who are historic readers of LeMonAide know my admiration for the research and prose of Dr. Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence and Primal Leadership).   Dr. Goleman’s latest book was just released in September.

Please do yourself, your colleagues, your family and your significant other a favor by picking up Social Intelligence (New York:  Bantam Books, 2006.  ISBN:13:970-0-553-80352-5).

Do you know that the people who live and work with you will actually alter your brain chemistry?  Do you know you can “catch emotions” from other people?  Do you know that we are all hard-wired for kindness when we are born?

Are you hooked yet?

This well-researched book will cram your mind with new insights on why some relationships in your life “click” while others do not even flicker.  You will discover that your emotional DNA still does not trump your decisions about important relationships.

If you work with or lead people this book is essential.  If you are not looking forward to going home, you need some Goleman help.  I can think of worse ways to squander $28.00, the full price of this hardback book.

Opening in My One-on-One Coaching Program

In January I will have one slot open up in my one-on-one coaching program.  If you know you need someone to gently, but assertively, provide accountability in order for you to accomplish your professional goals, drop me a line or give me a call (800-373-4040).  I will be happy to send you a description of this program and answer any questions.  If you keep saying, “I hope I can…” and none of your best plans ever make it into reality, you probably need someone to hold your feet to the fire.  Let me know if I can help you.

Leadership Development Series for Middle Management

For a number of my clients I have developed a seven-part leadership development series (assertive no-apology language, team-building, verbal defense skills, negotiation skills, creative thinking skills, motivating the stuck employee and strategic planning).  This set of learning modules is for organizations that know frontline and middle management lack the skills to function as strong, assertive leaders.  The seven, sequential modules are presented with three to four weeks interval between each training session so the participants can apply what they have learned in their workplace.  The attendees then send me a “homework” assignment reporting on their progress.   If you want to know more, please click on “reply” to this LeMonAide and tell me of your interest.  I will immediately respond.

Why do men have to be so hygiene-challenged when using public restrooms!

Here we are on the cusp of the flu season and I am watching the majority of men bypassing the sink after using the facilities.  I do not have a statistical study going here but I am convinced at least 75% of the masculine gender somehow missed the “hand washing” segment of high school health class.

Come on!  No one is asking these guys to give up their macho “let’s go mountain biking/snowboarding/baseball-scratching/mountain-climbing/off-roading life."  How about a little soap and water!

This restroom thing could all be consigned to the pile of gender profiling (you know, “women cannot drive and men cannot ask for directions”), if there was not a health component.

Have you ever been in an airplane, a bus or a car when someone behind you either sneezed or coughed over your head? I am angry.  The whole scene was preventable.  All it would have taken was a turn of the head or a well-placed tissue to spare the rest of us from a week to 10 days of congested misery.

Who knows what nasty stuff is percolating and ready to infest the rest of us because a man enters a restroom thinking he is Grizzly Adams who just used a tree trunk for target practice?

Do the globe a favor—wash those mitts!

This month I want to supply a potpourri of travel hints.  I make notes to myself while I am traveling.  I hope these make the next trip a little easier.

1.    When putting carry-on luggage in the bin above your airline seat, always place that luggage slightly forward of your seat.  When exiting, you will want to grab forward and not have to lean over several irritated people behind you to get your luggage.

2.       2 .    Always check your luggage tag before surrendering your bag.  Check your final destination and make sure your name appears on the tag.

3.      3.    If you are traveling alone, leave a radio or television on in your room so any would-be break-in artist would wonder if the room was occupied.

4.       4.    Never check out of a hotel room and leave your room ajar when departing.  Anyone can walk in there and charge some serious money to your name by using the in-room bar or entertaining themselves with movies you would never select.

       5.   Make large, bold notes on a road map before you leave the car rental facilities.  The last thing you want to do is stare at a strange map in a strange location while hurling down the highway at 70 mph.

6.       6.    Keep breath mints in every piece of luggage.  Travel has a way of making your mouth feel like the bottom of a bird cage.  Enough said.

If you would like to personally meet with me during the month of November, here is my schedule.  Please call 800-373-4040 to set up an appointment.

Here are a few important grammatical rules about using the colon (that is not a reference to the human body). 

--  The colon is used after the salutation in a formal letter, a memo or a business e-mail. Example: Dear Sir:, Cal:

-- The colon is used between the hour and minute in a statement of time. Example:  8:01 a.m.

--  The colon is used to introduce a list and must be preceded by an independent clause.  A colon should not be used after a sentence fragment. Wrong:  These important school activities are:  the musical, the spring play and the junior-senior prom. Right:  Many students are participating in three important activities:  the spring play, the musical and the junior-senior prom.

--  The colon is used after a formal statement to mean “note what follows.” Example:  A citizen has a major responsibility: to vote.

--  The colon is used between independent clauses (when no coordinating conjunction is used), where the second clause explains the first clause. Example:  Our objective is obvious: we wanted to win.

There were 500 people seated in front of me having a wonderful dinner.  I was the evening keynote speaker.

I rarely eat those meals because I am mentally and emotionally preparing myself for my address.  The introduction would be made in a just a few minutes because dessert had just been served.

I went through the checklist in my mind of how I would look and what would be those important first lines.

Any man knows that before getting up in front of a group there is one zipper you know you need to check.  While smiling and talking to the person next to me at the head table, I did my obligatory check of this important attachment area.  Wup!  Needed a little adjustment.

After the introduction I jumped to my feet at the head table and the entire table setting of glasses, coffee cups and cheesecake plates spilled onto the floor in front of this elevated head table!

Take it from me…make sure there are no tablecloths that are zipped into your zipper!

I heard this week, Lord, that both the Democrats and Republicans, the I.R.S., and Best Buy and my dry cleaners and…well, I heard they know everything about me.

It seems the web sites I regularly visit and the books I prefer and the hotdog brand I buy, well, Lord, they are all being logged in some mammoth mainframe in the sky.

And it scares me.  I’m losing something…and I am not sure what it is, but it doesn’t feel good.

I want to hold on to me.  My world, with all its amazing new stuff that is just a keystroke away, is tearing something from my grasp.

I’m talking to You because, well, You know me.  Inside and out.  And, You are the only person I give permission to know me.  Thanks for holding on to me…the way I am.