will all get there. Some sooner, and
some later. But, we all get there.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, noted author of On Death and Dying, called
this final stage of life, “acceptance.”
And, we all get there.
this column is not about physically dying; it is about living comfortably
with change that originally felt like dying.
you remember when you scoffed at wrapping an infant in a “plastic
diaper”? Can you recall when, in
1958 you pressed a button on your automobile’s radio and the little red
line started moving back and forth “looking” for the strongest signal? Does your memory include black and white
television images of people being denied the right to vote, attend a
particular high school or sit at a lunch counter?
regularly serves up hazy images of what was once “impossible” and today has
become the “new normal.”
in the speed of light, you and I are forced to watch the introduction to
the new normals.
media can introduce our wares to millions of new customers in
nanoseconds. Our “smart phones” have
become an indispensable appendage to our anatomy which, if lost, is equated
with losing a limb. And, customers
do not want anything in a “week to 10 days.” It better arrive in the next second or
they will contact our competitors.
what are the interpersonal skills to effectively work with someone who has
not moved into the “acceptance” that the “new normal” has arrived? Try these.
when your workplace has been informed the “rules have changed,” ask this question of your coworkers, “Can
any of us, equipped with our best arguments, get this decision reversed?”
will hear, “Well, yeah, things could get turned around if some of us just
showed some tenacity and guts right now.”
Notice that statement was not an answer to your question. So, ask it
again, using exactly the same words, “Can any of us, equipped with our best
arguments, get this decision reversed?”
may continue to get resistance, but not an answer. Point out everyone is “feeling” strong
emotions right now, but emotions will not return everyone to the
favorably-remembered status quo.
after the staring has commenced and silence stalks the ranks of the
sentimental, it is time for the next question, “If we cannot reverse what
we did not ask for, what can we do to “leverage” this moment to meet some
of our needs?”
means we do a “deal” to get something you want in the process of
change. The “leverage” could be a
special training class, adjusted working hours, additional compensation for
mastering a new, difficult skill, etc.
This approach can be a “win-win” for both the organization and the
when you are genuinely going to be victimized because of an arbitrary
change at work, begin the process of moving out and up. Some of the most effective professional
decisions I have ever made are those that initially hurt (I was losing
something I had counted on) and eventually turned out to be the best career
moves I have ever made.
a matter of fact, I would not be regularly penning LeMonAide
and creatively crafting my own business if it had not been for some
gut-wrenching moments when the employment rug was quickly pulled from under