Sabotage. 

Someone who has time-sensitive information you need in order to finish an important project just “forgot about the deadline.”  Your boss knows another department in your organization is actively working against your proposal, but decided not to tell you.  A colleague made a personal comment to your boss about your behavior at last year’s holiday party (a gross exaggeration)…and you heard about it from someone else.

There are people in our workplaces who, instead of addressing us about their fears, perceived threats and jealousies, will actively work at becoming a saboteur of our best efforts.  This is passive-aggressive behavior at its best…and our worst.

Since you cannot be responsible for your saboteur’s decisions or behavior, you have to decide how you will respond.

I have three skills sets that will work with a saboteur.

First, and this is intrapersonal, how much energy will you give to someone who hates your intestines?

To be honest, some of these people are not worth the time, passion and stress it takes to confront.  I am not advocating you roll over and play dead; rather, I am recommending you decide whether or not your confrontation will actually exacerbate the situation.  Will this person be “turned on” just watching you become confrontational?

Second, assuming the nature of the sabotage is so serious you cannot ignore the situation, make careful notes and get verbatim responses from others who may be involved.  In other words, do your homework.

Once you have your sabotage ducks in order, the conversation with the saboteur would sound like this, “I have noticed the following…and here is what ______ said, and I quote….”  This type of specificity is important.  If you walk in and say, “You know, I have a feeling you are out to destroy me,” this person will not take you seriously.

Third, and most important, address the 800 pound gorilla in the room.  Remember that sabotage is not the issue.  Sabotage is the vehicle to deliver a more important message and that usually is, “I do not trust you.”

Specifically, I am suggesting you use language like this, “Because you chose not to tell me what was going on, I am assuming you do not trust me.  Tell me, am I right or wrong about my assumption?”

If the person says, “I don’t know what you are talking about.  I completely trust you.”

Respond with, “Whenever negative behavior is repeated I believe there is intentionality.  In other words, I am convinced there usually are other larger issues under the surface that drive our behaviors with each other.  Why should I not hold this belief in our situation?”

Do you hear the non-confrontational quality of my confrontation?  My verbal skills will continually leave the other person with choices. 

I may, on good faith, have to end the conversation with, “Thank you for clarifying my misunderstanding of your behavior/comments.  I will continue to openly address any concerns I may have about our working relationship.  I am assuming this openness is acceptable to you.”

If the sabotage continues, you have established the legitimacy for your next conversation.

It is often what I do not hear that screams the loudest to me.

Talking behind my back means someone does not have the stomach to talk to my front.

Sabotage is easier than honesty.

For those of you who have sat in one of my presentations, you know I will consistently make references to companies who not only offer a job, but an invitation to join a “learning organization.” 

The most successful U.S. airline is one of those companies, Southwest Airlines.  Since I get to regularly test their public persona (I fly them whenever it is convenient), I have gathered three books you may want to scan if successful companies are used as models in your organization.

The books are The Southwest Airlines Way by Jody Hoffer Gittell (ISBN 0-07-139683-7), The Winds of Turbulence by Howard D. Putnam (ISBN 0-9637398-0-8) and Nuts! by Kevin and Jackie Freiberg (ISBN 0-7679-0184-3).

In all of these books you will discover three qualities about this airline: keep your mission simple and constantly refined, hire and fire for attitude and celebrate all the way to the bank.  Southwest is not the only outstanding company out there, but they always make it to the top of that list.  These books are worth your time.

I have put together a short article and accompanying 10 point inventory entitled, “Communicating For All…You Will Be Worth.” 

This is not a state secret:  people who can communicate effectively will be the most successful in all aspects of life.  I have written an article that will lead you to a short assessment instrument intended for people who work with you to fill out about your communication skills.  The results may shock you, but the results will always help you.

To download a copy of this article, just go to our website at www.execenrichment.com and choose the Downloadable Resources option.   You’ll then see a list of available articles.

Expanded CD Training Programs

Below you will find a list of my growing CD training programs.  These are 50 minute training programs that have been recorded in a studio and accented with recorded excerpts from my workshops.  If you want to continue your learning while driving, exercising or sitting in front of your CD player with pen in hand, these are great options for expanding your interpersonal skills.

Available CDs are:

"Skills For Increasing Sales"
"Skills To Verbally Defend Myself"
"Skills To Work With A Whiner"
"Skills To Find My Next Big Idea"
"Skills To Motivate The Stuck, Entitled Employee"
"Skills For Prioritizing My Chaos"
"Skills For Fighting Fair"

To order a CD, go to our website at www.execenrichment.com and choose the Our Products option. You’ll see a list of available products and after choosing an item, you’ll be led to a PayPal payment screen.  We’ll be notified of your order and will ship the item immediately.

Governing Board Training and Consultation

If your company or organization has a rotating governing board and you are looking for a consultant who has experience and expertise in both training board members how to work effectively and efficiently with each other or  how the board can design a comprehensive strategic plan, reply directly to me after reading this LeMonAide.  I will personally get back in touch with you so I can listen to the uniqueness of your board and then I will explain the methodologies I will employ to accomplish your goals.

The problem is: they are always running.

You are mistaken, November 7^th is not election day; November 7^th is the first day of the 2008 congressional campaign. 

This is just not working.  It is my opinion the every-two-year election process for members of the House of Representatives has morphed into a political morass where incumbents are slogging around in a slurry of pork and promise.

And, both political parties know the truth.

To illustrate, in the waning moments before members of the Congress made their way to airports for the frantic last trip home to remain employed, this body of legislators passed the “Secure Fence Act.”

By a 283-138 vote, this legislation, which was written just 24 hours earlier, obligates this nation to construct a 700 mile fence along the US/Mexico border as a smart response to the difficult issue of undocumented workers who permanently reside in the United States.

The passion for some legislative response was so intense that the people who represent us forgot one item in the bill: how to fund it.  That’s right, this legislation has no provision for the seven billion dollars to actually pay for constructing this fence.

But both sides can now weigh in with sound bites for the evening news.  “It is essential to do this today to tell the American people we have got the message” (Rep. Peter King, Republican, New York) and “We have been awash in talk of reform…but seven weeks before the election, we see the majority has labored long and produced a mouse” (Rep. David Obey, Democrat, Wisconsin).

There are three problems with our present every-two-year cycle of electing members to Congress.

First, if everyone in Congress is essentially trying to hold on to political power from the moment they take the oath, no one has the time to actually consider what is best for the country.  You see, they are always running.

If you want an illustration, look at the practice of “earmarks.”  Earmarks are special-interest spending “amendments” that make it possible for both parties to guarantee there is serious cash shipped home this congressional session.  From 50 million dollar bridges that go nowhere to new highways that suddenly end in a corn field, members of Congress have learned votes always follow the pork.

Rep. Jack Kingston (Republican, Georgia) recently said, “The politics of earmark reform is a lot bigger than the substance of earmark reform.”  If you are running for office all the time, the politics will color every decision.

This leads to the second problem:  corruption.  Right now, you and I have given this Congress a 31% approval rating.  Our disgust with their inability to work for us is driven by consistent headlines screaming perks, favors and entitlements.

The footprints of the Jack Abramoff look-a-likes in Congress have yet to be found.  Both parties have been embarrassed by the free Gulfstream jet trips, the $115,000.00 annual salaries for spouses who have never showed up one day for work and the “escort services” that were gladly paid by some company that got a favorable vote on an appropriation bill.  And the list goes on and on.

If you are running for office all the time, and keep getting reelected, ethical hearing is distorted by the mantra, “What’s the big deal? They love me!”

Finally, the problem with our present system is kingdom-building will always silence new voices.  Out of the 435 chairs that are up for election this year, there are only 24 of these seats that are politically insecure.  In other words, the challenges for the vast majority of the seats in Congress are protected by a well-honed “machine.”

Now, here is the genius of our democracy.  We have the power to dismantle the machine.

Sure, we always have the potential to “throw the bums out!”  And, sure, there will always be cyclical “swings” in our political history.

But here is a more reasoned approach.   Why not, every two years, ask these three questions, regardless of party affiliation.

First, has the person who has been representing me abused my trust by openly amassing political power or financial gain? 

Second, is my representative a smart person who has departed his/her political affiliation in order to make the right decision for our nation? 

And, third, is my congressional representative giving me messages today that November the 7^th is the first day of his/her next campaign?

If you have been accumulating frequent flyer points, here are a few tips on how to make sure you use them and don’t lose them.

First, most frequent flyer account balances are now online.  There are three items you need to regularly check: (a) Keep the stub from your boarding pass and check these against the list of trips that appear on your statement (I will often find flight segments have not been credited to my account). When you submit a copy of your boarding pass the miles will be added, (b) Check the “miles that will expire”—you may be surprised that a chunk of your miles will go up in time-sensitive technological smoke, (c) Look at your “upgrade segments”—most airlines will give you free upgrades to first class after you have flown a certain number of miles.  If you are whining that “steerage” is getting to you, check your account.  You could be wining and dining on your next flight.

Second, call as soon as you have a date in mind to use your miles.  Airlines will hold your reservation for 14 days before you finalize your travel plans.  Ask for a “record number” and then call them back with your decision and no miles will be withdrawn from your account.

Third, and most travelers do not know this, you can call for a reservation using frequent flyer points as much as 320 days before your trip.  If you want the first award tickets available on your flight and the best seat selection, call today.

If you would like to personally meet with me during the month of October, here is my schedule.  Please call 800-373-4040 to set up an appointment.

In this edition of LeMonAide I will give you some important information on possessive pronouns.

The singular possessive pronouns are:  my, your, his, her, its, our and their.

The plural possessive pronouns are:  mine, yours, his, hers, its, ours and theirs.

Make sure any of the possessive pronouns precede the noun it modifies. (It was their choice.)

The structure of the sentence when using the plural forms of the possessive pronouns should be for the pronoun to stand apart from the word it is modifying. (The choice was theirs.)

A pronoun that modifies a gerund (a verbal noun ending in ing) (I appreciated your shipping the order so promptly.)  Please note:  that sentence would be incorrect if it was written, I appreciated you shipping the order so promptly.

Finally, do not confuse some possessive pronouns with contractions.

If you burn your bridges, you will be swimming upstream most of your professional life.

About 20 years ago a client, for no apparent reason, terminated a contract with me. While talking with another long-term client after getting my pink slip, I indulged myself by complaining I had been victimized.  Bad decision.

Before I knew it, my long-term client had become my past short-term client and I know why.  When I made those derogatory remarks about this other client, I chinked away at my credibility. Come on, who wants to work with someone who is actively looking for a stage to pathetically bellow out, “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen.”

The silence between us, Lord, has been deafening.

It has been a long time since I heard from You.

We heard Your voice when our baby was christened and You certainly spoke when the results came back “negative” from my mom’s biopsy.

But I don’t think I have heard Your voice lately.

Look, it could be my fault, You know, with the family growing and the do-more-with-less at work, I just have not had time….

I forgot…You have a “still, small voice.”

I’m used to a lot of volume.

There, I have turned everything off.

Oh!