Odors.

Yes, I have decided to tiptoe through the minefield of interpersonal hygiene at work.  Yes, odors.

This is the subject everyone whispers about, but normally does not resolve.  Well, I have decided not to stick my nose in the air over this issue any longer.

If you have ever physically worked close with someone who broadcasts an unpleasant body “ambiance” or had a close conversation accented with chronic halitosis, you know the uncomfortableness of this topic.

There are three assumptions that underline this article.  First, there are people who are so acclimatized to their body fragrances they honestly do not know they are offensive.  Second, odors can be organic in origin and have nothing to do with a refusal to use deodorant or take a shower.  Third, and most important, if we genuinely care about someone we will appropriately confront this issue.

So, let’s apply these three assumptions to the following workplace scenarios.

First, Susan has chronic B.O.  Susan is an engineer and has to work closely with peers on specific projects.  The question of the day is, “How do you tell Susan she regularly smells like a 1992 pair of retired Nikes?”

If you are Susan’s peer you may want to say (obviously, when the two of you are alone), “Susan, I am about to say something you will initially find hurtful.  That is not my intent.  Susan, when I work closely with you I experience, in my opinion, body odor.  I know this is difficult for both of us.  How do you respond to my observation?”

Notice these three qualities about that statement:  (1) I am only speaking for myself. This is not one of those hide-behind-the-crowd hatchet jobs that normally begin with, “I am just telling you what I have been hearing.”  (2) I precluded her emotional response by accurately describing how she will initially respond.  (3) I gave Susan a 360 degree sphere of options with the open-ended question, “How do you respond to my observation?”

Second, what if you were Dan’s supervisor and Dan was the object of your olfactory radar? 

The conversation would be different and may be structured like this, “Dan, I need your help with a concern that I have about productivity.  You continue to do an excellent job but I am avoiding working closely with you because I experience body odor when we are in physically close quarters.” 

“As your supervisor I am raising this issue because it affects whether or not the work gets done here.  Dan, I want to hear from you as to whether or not there are medical, dietary, cultural or personal hygiene reasons why I have been detecting this problem.  If you think I am wrong about my observations, tell me why.”

Management has the right to verbally address any behavior, attitude or…odor that inhibits productivity.  My approach is this issue is personal but has organizational implications.  Notice, too, I give Dan an open door to engage me in full-loop feedback about this difficult and embarrassing problem.  If we can talk about this, we have a good chance of coming up with a resolution.

Third, what if Cal, who is someone you care about in your personal life, exudes bad breath (oral B.O.)?  If we have a relationship built on trust, and not a paycheck, you have the easiest challenge of these three. 

Without hesitation you would say, “Cal, you know I care about you and I care so much about you, I can tell you the truth.  When we are together I experience constant halitosis.  Besides good oral hygiene, I want to know if there is any medical reason for this problem.  Believe me, my intent right now is to tell you the truth.  Tell me what you are thinking and feeling right now?”

If you care so much about Cal, you should also be willing to accept the fact that Cal may become unglued with a “shoot-the-messenger” response.  Cal will need some time to get over the emotional wounds he just received.  If this is a mutually caring relationship, you and Cal will be O.K.

You, undoubtedly, are saying right now, “LeMon, you have to be kidding!  What have you been sniffing beside B.O.?”

I function, like many of us, in the flesh-and-blood categories of living and working.  Since we have yet to be morphed into an R2D2, let us just admit life is messy.  This humanoid machine of ours regularly gets depressed, misunderstood, angry, foot-stomping happy and…smelly.  So, let’s not play games with the finite by assuming we are infinite.  

Isn’t it time to wake up and smell the….?

There is no software compatible with the hard-wear of life.

The nose knows.

The most difficult people often never say a word.

I teach a corporate educational course entitled, Creating the 14 Carrot Gold Company.   So, it was with great interest I just picked up the book, The Carrot Principle by Adrian Gostic and Chester Elton. (Simon and Schuster, 2007, ISBN:13:978-0-7432-9009-8)

These two gentlemen have created an entire publishing and speaking empire around the “carrot” theme (it is my suspicion they both sneaked into one of my workshops back in 1992).

Gostic and Elton do a great job of researching and then touting the benefits of recognition as the most powerful motivator your organization possesses. 

Specifically, you may want to look at Chapter 8, “Carrotphobia: Why We Don’t Recognize.”  For my money, this was an eye-opening insight about our innate resistance to saying to someone, “Hey, good job today.”

If your organization is wrestling with how to motivate staff without giving them more money, this book (this hurts me) is well worth $21.00!

New Free Article

I have recently penned a new article that may be of interest to you or your organization.

“The Lies of Leadership” is an examination of seven popular lies leaders often tell us.  I know, I know, leaders should never lie.  Yes, and chickens should be able to fly.  But sometimes life dishes up just the opposite of what we expect.

If your organization is serious about leadership development, this article will be a welcomed addition to your training materials.

To access the article, please go to my website at www.execenrichment.com and choose the DOWNLOADABLE RESOURCES option.  You’ll be led through a short form to fill out and then you’ll see a list of current articles.

New Training Course

Because the workplace is changing, so are the requirements of frontline management.  I have recently designed and presented a new training program, “Managing the Remote Employee.”

If telecommuting is a reality for your staff and you want to know how to lead people you cannot physically see everyday, give me a call or reply to this LeMonAide and I will give you more information along with a course outline.

Bookings in 2008

If your organization has a date in 2008 when a professional meeting will need a keynote speaker, a leadership development training series will need a presenter or a long-term organizational problem will need a consultant, please give me a call now. 

At the present time I have about 40 dates already confirmed on my 2008 calendar.  I want to work with you and that will require advanced planning for both of us.  I look forward to your call (800-373-4040).

“Oh, they will learn to live with it.”

Psychologically it is called “desensitization.”  A Mt. Everest mountain climbing guide would call it “acclimatization.”  Organizational consultants would use the term, “getting comfortable with pain.”

Whatever label is slapped on it, I am convinced this behavioral principle is actively applied to our politics, how we structure our daily schedules and the way we do business.  And, the aphorism scares me.

Imbibe my paranoia for just a few paragraphs. 

When I saw the price of gasoline take a slide from $3.29 per gallon to $3.11, I got certifiably giddy.  I developed Fred Astaire clicking heels, a Mary Poppins’ happiness-gulping lilt to my voice and joined Annie in a rousing chorus of “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

Then reality intruded.  In my wild, often accurate, imagination I heard a Venezuelan oil baron leaning back puffing on a huge Cuban cigar, “I knew they would learn to live with it.”

It was just nine months ago we were paying $1.97 for regular and now we are eternally thankful for $3.11.  Go figure!

I am asking for a few minutes of your time to decide whether or not “acclimatization” is going on between our ears.

My pharmacist delivered the bad news years ago that my Lipitor prescription can only be parsed out one month at a time.  Every month (you know what I am talking about) I have to call the automated helpline and talk with “Serena” (the name I have chosen for this computer woman who I think is the embodiment of peace and all things medicinal) about filling my order for another 30 days.

My research has unearthed the dirty little secret that medical insurance companies get “rebates” (you got it, cash) from drug manufacturers when the manufacturers are assured, from monthly reports, these drugs continue to show up on their formularies.

Come on, can you not hear someone in a medical insurance company grousing years ago in an executive board room, “The public will never put up with coming back to the pharmacy every month!”  And then there was the patient, assured reply, “Oh, they will learn to live with it.”

There has been a seismic war in Iraq that has cleaved this republic right down the middle for the past five years.  We expected “reasonable losses” in the “shock and awe” days.  We assumed we were protecting ourselves from nuclear holocaust or another 9/11 horror show.

None of us ever expected 3.29 deaths each agonizing day since the last Memorial Day.  1,075 mothers, fathers, brothers, aunts, boyfriends and somebody who mattered…will not come home.  My worst fear is somewhere, in some bureaucratic hovel, some staff person employed by this nation responded to this carnage with “Oh, they will learn to live with it.”

Today it takes 25 minutes longer to fly from New York to Los Angeles than it did 10 years ago.  The airplanes are faster but there are so many of them in the air, the Air Traffic Control delays are off the end of the map.

Try, on a sunny day, to fly on-time into Chicago’s O’Hare, New York’s JFK, Atlanta’s Hartsfield or Boston’s Logan.  Good luck. 

Passengers are regularly imprisoned for hours on rain-pelted tarmacs, flights are consistently over-booked and lost luggage is the norm and…someone in the airline industry is probably saying, “Oh, they will learn to live with it.”

BlackBerrys, Treo 700s, Nokias interrupt conference calls, staff meetings and personal conversations with blaring downloaded renditions of Sting and the 1812 Overture.  And, someone in the cell phone business is whispering today, “Oh, they will learn to live with it.”

When you get into your car to “run to the store” today and see someone pulled over for obviously “driving under the influence,” the statistical truth is there are another 2,000 drunk drivers right around you who will not go through a sobriety checkpoint or ever get a ticket.  They are lethal killers who are tolerated by our society.  And, someone, in some backyard after downing a couple of six-packs is probably saying right now, “Oh, they will learn to live with us.”

There is a moment when we personally, and as a society, have to refuse to “acclimatize,” “desensitize” or “get comfortable with the pain.”

Is it not time for us to cease our accommodation to political kingdom-builders who leave office and us with nothing but marble monuments etched with the names of those we did not have enough time to love?  And, do we not have an obligation to ourselves and our children to stop spending our money on products that cost us our lives and our sanity? 

When will we scream back, “No, we will not live with this!”?

Try a little honey.

You will learn from any “road warrior” the best way to survive a disaster during a trip is to intentionally choose to be a nice person.

Our natural response is to pounce on a ticket agent who tells us our flight has been delayed two hours because the crew is still in Newark.

Or, what about the hotel reception desk staff person who announces, “The only room we have left is one right next to an ice machine.”  Are you thinking physical violence?

There is a fundamental question you have to ask yourself at moments of extreme transit stress, “Is the person in front of me responsible for my victimization?”  If the answer is “no,” dish out a little honey.

If the answer is “yes,” become the assertive adult and click off your expectations.  If the expectations are not met, respond with, “I need the name and address of your boss.” 

Do not hesitate to accurately write out the history of your tawdry treatment and list the compensation you want for your losses.  You may not receive a dime but you will feel like a million bucks because you responded as an adult.

If you would like to personally meet with me during the month of June, here is my schedule.  Please call 800-373-4040 to set up an appointment.

The feedback I get from readers of this LeMonAide section is the “commonly confused word pairs” has been especially helpful.  (So why are you folks not turned on to the use of the hyphen last month?)

To meet the needs of my audience, please make note of the following set of words that often have very different meanings.

accept/except

“Accept” means to receive with consent.  “Except” means with the exclusion of.

allusion/illusion

An “allusion” is an indirect reference.  An “illusion” is a false impression or image.

around/about

“Around” should refer to a physical proximity or surrounding (I’ll look for you around the front of Baker Hall).  “About” indicates an approximation (Let’s have lunch about 11:30 a.m.).

between/among

Use “between” to show a relationship between two objects only.  Use “among” when it’s more than two.

historic/historical

“Historic” means important.  “Historical” refers to any event in the past.

imply/infer

“Imply” means to suggest or indicate indirectly.  To “infer” is to conclude or decide from something known or assumed.

literally/figuratively

“Literally” means in an exact sense.  “Figuratively" means in a comparative sense.

lose/loose

“Lose” means to fail to win, or misplace.  “Loose” means not fastened, restrained or contained.

peddle/pedal

To “peddle” is to sell.  To “pedal” is to use pedals, as on a bicycle.

toward/towards

“Toward” is correct.  “Towards” is not.

Check your “spam filter.” 

I will often hear my clients ask, “Did you get my e-mail?”  When I respond “no” they will vow on someone’s grave they sent it.

I will then, in turn, invoke the name of some deity swearing on my eternal demise that I have not received the missing electronic missive.

So this is my new routine.  After signing on, I do a quick spin around my spam filter.  Nine times out of ten, the missing e-mail was decapitated in this gigabyte guillotine.  Before you deny…spy your spam.

God, what is the deal with this “do nothing attitude” I am lately picking up from you?

Count them, God.  One quarter of a million people in Darfur have been slaughtered in the last four years.

Count them, God.  15 million children will die of hunger around Your spinning globe each year.

Count them, God.  1400 children in our country will die this year from abuse.

So, what is the big deal leaving us alone with these numbers?

What?

What did You just say?

“The big deal was Your big love…and we never got it.”