The other person is just unreasonable.

You know, there is not an intelligent argument that can penetrate his limited power of reasoning. His cranial cavity is in lockdown and he started the conversation by telling you, “There is nothing you can say that will change my mind.”

How do you respond to someone who seems to have shot out all the exit signs in your conversation?

In spite of what you are feeling right now, this is not an impossible situation.  You can bring rationality back to this dialogue with very specific skills.  

First, and this is the most difficult, you have to change the direction of the conversation.  

Let’s assume the two of you are debating a possible cost of living increase for all your staff.  The intransient person is your boss.  You are a strong proponent for a minimal raise to maintain morale during these difficult economic times.  Your boss views any type of raise as a sign of entitlement which he believes sends the wrong message when orders have significantly slowed down.

The two of you have staked out your positions and are getting more resolute by the minute.  You think your only choice is probably to button your lip because this heated discussion may start chinking away at your professional future.  You hate this dependency but, if you want to make your Visa payment this month, you may have to silence your snarling, spittle-spewing lips.

There is another option.  Ask an entirely new question like this, “Five years from now how do you think the two of us will describe this part of our corporate history?”

Whoa!  Where did that come from?

Notice I am suggesting you leave the core of your debate (cost of living raise) and spin out into what appears to be an unrelated area.

Your boss may ask, “What does that question have to do with a cost of living raise?”  You will respond, “I am convinced my question is a larger, more important issue than the raise and I think our answer will help us get perspective on this discussion.”

So the two of you wander off into the five year thing and your boss says, “You know, 2008 will be the turnaround year for us.  We will move from just being good to becoming a significant player in our industry.”

Here is your second strategy…seize on any agreement.   

You will respond, “I agree.  This sick economy will demonstrate what our core competencies are and what we need to hold on to and what we need to let go.”

Notice your interaction with your unreasonable boss has just gone from confrontational to cooperative.

Bingo!  The two of you have now entered your third strategy…leverage the moment.  You may want to say right now, “Since the two of us agree this difficult time can be the genesis of a new business model for us, what do you think we need to hold on to and what do we need to kiss-off?”  

The “kiss-off” list will probably be the easiest to write.  Get into a quick overview of the sea anchors that have been slowing down your progress and then move to the products/services that will distinguish your organization.

Guess where I am going?  Your fourth strategy will be…come full circle.  Obviously, you cannot get to your new future without the enthusiastic commitment of your staff.  One part of ensuring this commitment will be fair and equitable compensation.  Your boss may even start talking about pay-for-performance models built on a reasonable cost-of-living hike.

So, the next time you are facing an unreasonable person, think about (1) change the topic, (2) seize on any agreement, (3) leverage the moment and (4) come full circle.

Impossibility does have “possibility” hiding in it.

We can recognize unreasonable people because they often look and sound like us.

Miracles are two minds open to a new thought.

I have worked for Toyota and now I know why I was so impressed.  Pick up the book, How Toyota Became #1 by David Magee (Penguin Group, 2007, ISBN: 978-1-59184-179-1).

You probably have recently heard that Toyota has grabbed the distinction of the largest producer of automobiles and light trucks in the world.  How did they make this amazing organizational ascent?

David Magee will take you on a trip through the corporate mind of this amazing company with chapters like “Favor Long-Term Strategies Over Short-Term Fixes” and “Learn the Customer, Live the Customer.”

You will learn the success of Toyota was not an accident or financial fluke.  This company is the residue of 40 years of orchestrated plans built on the premise that greatness is reasonable and achievable.

New Free Article

“The Acceptable Addiction” is not about alcohol, sex or the television series, “Lost,”—it is about work.

For those of you who love your work so much that you cannot imagine what life would be like without parking in that same spot every morning, this article may have some sobering help for you.

I am convinced all of us have the potential to move to “live to work” instead of “work to live.”  There is a big difference.

This is also a great article for your organization’s newsletter or other internal publication.

To access the article, go to my website at www.execenrichment.com and choose the Downloadable Resources option.  After filling out a brief form, you’ll see the page of current articles available. 

Featured CD of the Month

Skills to Verbally Defend Myself

Sometimes the cutting, caustic words explode into us with emotional bunker-busting power. We are devastated by the words aimed right at our psyche. This training CD will provide skills to develop the right poise and prose to defend yourself when you are verbally assaulted. Specifically, the listener will learn:

1. why your emotions can hijack your brain,
2. how to find the right words when your mind goes blank,
3. why an emotional detour is your first, best option and
4. ten specific verbal skills to quickly silence the attacker and assertively represent yourself.

To order a copy of this CD, go to my website at www.execenrichment.com and choose the Our Products option.  You’ll see a list of all my current products.

New Course

“Leveraging Growth in Tough Times” is a course I have just developed for some of my clients.  This learning experience is built on the premise that organizations do not have to withdraw and contract in difficult economic environments.  The skill of leveraging bad news for growth and profit goes on all the time.  This contrarian approach is built on mastering the disciplines of interactive thinking.

If you want to see a brief outline of this training program, please send a reply to this LeMonAide and we will send it out to you.

The snow can be seductive and the cold can be convincing.  But, don’t buy it.

Twenty-two inches of snow buried Columbus, Ohio on March 8.  The Rockies have been inundated with up to 250 inches of the white stuff.  China has had its worst winter in the last 50 years with millions stranded the first two weeks of January.  

So, after some serious winter weather maybe it is time to revisit the left-wing-Al-Gore-tree-hugging fantasy that global warming is and has been a crock of…snow.

The problem we bring to the table when we discuss global warming is weather, like politics, is always local.  We are myopic and sit on our recently stained wooden decks and stare at our blooming backyards but have neglected to check out the Arctic Ocean.

The canary we should be checking in our global warming cage is…sea ice.  That’s right, sea ice.

This is the way it works.  Every year the vast expanse of the Arctic Ocean is littered with huge chunks of ice that quickly become a mottled frozen stew.  By the end of the summer the ice will be sparsely splayed over the surface until the creeping cold once again claims the landscape.

Here is the problem.  With the temperature rising in the Arctic, the summer sea ice is becoming harder to find.  We keep counting on winter to roar back but it keeps showing up as a whisper.  The result is a quickly shrinking polar ice cap.

How quickly?  Most scientists thought the summer sea ice would not disappear until 2040 at the earliest.  Take another look.

This past summer, 2007, the National Snow and Ice Data Center in Boulder, Colorado reported there were 2.23 million square miles of ice remaining on August 8 and that amount dropped to just 1.6 million square miles on September 16.  On September 16, 2005 the summer square miles of ice were 2.05.  The message is clear:  almost a half a million square miles of ice is permanently gone.  And it is disappearing at an alarming rate.

So, what is the big deal?  What does all of this meteorological mumbo-jumbo mean to those of us walking our dogs, sailing our SUVs to the mall or planning our new shopping forays at Wal-Mart?

First, it means there is a feedback system in nature which is starting to go into a death-spiral…in warp speed.

The sea ice is reflective; it is a gigantic cosmic mirror.  Without the mirror, the heat from the sun is being absorbed into the ocean.  The temperature of the ocean is rising.  More ice melts.  

As the temperature of the oceans rise the ability of the sea water to absorb carbon dioxide is reduced.  An increased level of carbon dioxide only accelerates global warming.

When global warming goes into overdrive, the land under the ice, the permafrost, begins to rot in the warming rays releasing more carbon dioxide and methane gas.

And the beat goes on, but faster and faster.

Second, the majority of us will have to stop pressing the “Easy Button.”  It is easy to ignore, argue with what we do not like hearing and end the diatribes with this amazing question, “What will global warming mean to me in 300 years?”  We all know our bodies will become a contributor to the permafrost so what is the big deal?

The big deal is our integrity.  Will we bite-the-bull that what is going on in the Arctic is just the “normal cycle” on this spinning globe?  Will we become the global Chamberlains who appeased our worst fears with massive doses of neglect?  Will we chain our great-grandchildren to the fetid rack of a decaying and dying globe?

Finally, the disappearing act in the Arctic should question our silence.  What concerns me most about this debate is the quietude that roars among us.  The “Whatever!” is deafening.

I have never been one to walk around with the homemade poster that screams, “The End is Near!”  At the same time, it seems to me smart people who live in the warm openness of democracy should be able to ask, “Shouldn’t we be doing something right now?  It is getting hot in here.”

(Used by permission, Springfield Business Journal)     

For those of you who fly three times or less each year, I have some firsthand suggestions to make the flight easier and safer.

First, if you have a choice, fly on a Tuesday.  Statistically this is the low-volume day of the week.  The only chance you have of an empty seat next to you is Tuesday.

Second, fly on the first flight in the morning.  I know you may not look your best at 5:30 a.m. but if you want to make connections and take into account both equipment and system failures, you have a better chance of actually making it to your destination if you take the first flight.

Third, choose your seat carefully.  This can be the difference between hell and heaven.  Since you are not a frequent flyer all of the bulkhead and exit rows are taken by the “top tier” customer (that is me!).  So, your best option is a regular seat right behind the exit row because those seats normally do not recline.  Another option is the back row of the plane. These are the seats no one wants because they are right next to the restroom.  Bring some nose plugs and an IPod and you will enjoy the ride.

Fourth, and I cannot stress this enough, put all your liquids and gels (toothpaste, shampoo, makeup, lotions) in a one-quart resealable plastic bag and none of them can be more than 3 ounces.  You will get frustrated, angry and tick-off everyone behind you if you are pulling these banned items out of your carry-on luggage at the TSA screening point.

Finally, on the day of your return flight, call the airline or go to their website to make sure there are no delays.  If you can prepare your mind that you will be spending an extra five hours getting home, the trip will be easier.

If you would like to personally meet with me during the month of March, here is my schedule.  Please call 800-373-4040 to set up an appointment.

I am often asked about the use of abbreviations in running prose.  Make note of the following accepted rules.

The courtesy titles like Mr., Mrs., and Ms are never spelled out when they precede a proper name.  And, please note that “Ms” does not have a period after it and is never spelled out because it is a word that stands on its own.

Military, political and other titles are abbreviated when they precede a full name (first and last).  These titles include Gen., Lt. Col., Rep., and Dr.  The title will be spelled out when there is just a last name used.

Academic degrees such as B.A., M.S., and Ph.D. are never spelled out when they follow a proper name.

The adjectives U.S. and U.N. are always abbreviated, although the noun forms are spelled out.

P.S., I hope the above has been helpful.

When you make verbal promises…you have to keep them.

I said to a client after a very positive day, “I will get back to you to find out the response of the participants to the material I presented today.”

Of course you know what happened.  I forgot.

When I called this client about two months later he started our phone call with, “I was expecting to hear from you immediately after your presentation.  I thought I heard you make that promise.”

We have been doing some repair work ever since.

The written prayers in this section are Cal’s divine conversations reflecting the needs others have shared with him.

So, who am I supposed to trust, God?

Like paper mache Burger King look-alikes they have been tumbling down the Main Street of the evening news driven by the wind of their failures.

They have been dropping like flies on a hot summer day under the vengeful swat of cameras tired of their buzzing bravado.

I’m looking for someone who is what his PR says he is.  I’m looking for someone, Lord, who is not…me.

I live every day with my haunting emptiness and failures that are legion.  I search for someone who will not take the easy, familiar path…the one I have walked too often.   I need a place to stand and say, without any hint of doubt, “I can trust him.”  

I guess…I have come to the right place.