From:                              Execenrichment@aol.com

Sent:                               Thursday, December 10, 2009 1:04 PM

To:                                   Justin Voelkel

Subject:                          0307 LeMonAide

 

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LeMonAide : Executive Enrichment : Cal Lemon


*** LEMONTREE ***

It all happens within one-fifth of a second.

When you walk into your workplace you can “catch” a cold from a sneezing coworker, you can “catch” a yawn from someone who just could not turn off the game last night…and you can “catch” an attitude.

You and everyone else in your workplace are “infecting” one another with positive or negative emotional microbes within nanoseconds of stepping in the door.  And, this instantaneous process will determine whether or not you want to come back to work tomorrow.

The brain-chemistry of these “blink” moments is astounding.

The 100 billion neurons between your ears are usually standing at attention when you enter your workplace.  In less time than it takes your eye lid to clean and irrigate your eyeball, you will begin to rearrange the furniture in your mind to decide if this will be a “good” or “bad” day.

You “pick up” the foreshadowing of a frown, the scintilla of a smile, the feint of frustration and then you… “mirror-back.”  Is it not true that we cry at weddings because the bride or some parent is weeping?  We scream at Little League games because it is the bottom of the ninth and our home team has the bases full with two outs and everyone else is exercising his vocal cords.  We laugh with a ten month old infant who is flashing six teeth and giggling with delight.

And, we will become loathsome, along with everyone else in our workplace if the atmosphere has been marked by unresolved conflict, character assassination or threats.

So, if you are destined to “reflect” your workplace and you do not want to be part of this steadily, stinking social stew, what do you do?

Since you can only take responsibility for yourself, not other people, and especially not the entire workplace, try this.

First, get honest about whether or not you have been sucked into the maelstrom of this malaise.

There are two litmus tests to determine if you have become part of this problem.  First, find someone in your personal life you trust.  Ask this person, “What are the verbal and non-verbal messages I am giving you about my job?”  Take notes.  You may be surprised. 

The second method is journaling.  When you get home from work immediately write a paragraph or two about your work day. Wait at least three months before reading your entire journal.  What are the themes that have developed over these months?  Have you joined the ranks of the damned?

The second initiative you can take after admitting you have been trudging along with the catatonic citizens of mediocrity, is save yourself! 

You can step out of this pathetic cadence by practicing these four disciplines: (1) refuse to reflect negativity—choose your own mood, (2) start to smile—the psychological evidence is profound that smiling restores our bodies, psyche and changes environments, (3) listen to coworkers with intensity even if you do not agree and (4) change your language with this phrase, “I am convinced we do not have a problem, just a decision.”

Your final action should be what Dr. Daniel Goleman (Social Intelligence) calls, synchrony.   Synchrony is our ability to smoothly interact with other people without saying a word.  If you know someone who “just doesn’t get it” when working with other people, you know when synchrony is missing.

At the heart of synchrony is your ability to be yourself.  When we are “awkward” or “feeling out of place,” we normally are reflecting our own insecurities.

If the non-verbal atmosphere is so tense and toxic you can “cut it with a knife,” and you can afford it, cut out of there before you start thinking about picking up a knife!


*** LEMONDROPS ***

A poisoned workplace is easy to spot; everyone is wearing a mask.

We are an emotional mirror…with legs.

The “look” is usually the truth.


*** LEMON LEAVES ***

When my clients ask me to recommend a book focused on the skills to come out on top in a crowded field of competitors, I always lead them to The Discipline of Market Leaders by Treacy and Wiersema (Perseus Books, 1995, ISBN: 0-201-40648-9).

Treacy and Wiersema remind all of us that customer loyalty is what ultimately determines business success.  Check out Chapter 11, “Creating the Cult of the Customer.”  The “tangible touch” with the customer makes sense and provides a focus for the good, but not-yet-great, organization.

I recommend this book if you are feeling overwhelmed by the new faces that pop up every day among your competitors.


*** LEMON JUICE ***

Download These Articles—If You Are Stressed

In the “Downloadable Resources” on my web site (execenrichment.com), you will find these free articles that will provide interventions for personal stress.

“It is All About Balance”

“The Survival Skill for Chaos:  Connectivity”

“Planting Your Head Ahead”

“How to Do More with Less…and Be Happy About It”

“Quit Whining:  Empower Yourself”

After choosing the "Downloadable Resources" option, you'll be asked to fill out a brief form.  After doing that, the list of available articles will appear.

New Course

I have developed a new course for my clients, Ending Generational Wars at Work.  There are the Boomers (born 1940—1960), the Generation X’ers (born 1960-1980) and the Generation Y’s (born 1980-2000) all occupying the same space.  They are good people, but often silently doing battle with each other because they bring a different “mental construct” of life and success to the workplace.

If you have seen and heard the skirmishes between generations in your workplace, give me a call or reply to this LeMonAide and I will provide more information on this timely training program.


*** LEMONHARANGUEPIE ***

I was waiting for Judge Seidlin to suddenly turn to the camera with a self-assured grin, “America, you have been had.  This has been the greatest hoax since 'The War of Worlds.'  Anna Nicole is alive and well in LA surrounded by the 14 men who are the biological father of Dannielynn.”

Every Larry King Live Show, every Court TV, every HeadlineNews broadcast, every time this celebrity-soaked-insanity sloshed over my ear drums, I thought for sure this was a joke.  Who, I reasoned, would savor this tripe?

Well, the sad answer is…us.

If you have not noticed, we have been fiddling with our TV remotes while our national psyche has been burning.

Consider, for just the next eight seconds, the blizzard of banality that has lately blown across our 42-inch plasma screens.

Britney decided to shear herself as the latest sacrificial lamb on the altar of the rich and famous.  Rosie and The Donald have increased their ratings (and fortunes) by decreasing decorum. Beth Ostrosky gushed about her liaison with shock-jock, Howard Stern, “I just feel so blessed that he’s all mine.” And, this lunacy goes on.

At the same time, the IEDs in Iraq are still snuffing out American lives in nanoseconds.  There is a lurking, ominous nightmare that Pakistan, hijacked by religious extremists, will have the keys to nuclear weapons.  AIDS continues to mow down millions each year.  Domestic abuse is legion in our communities.

If you have not noticed, all is not well…among us.

So why, in the face of profound issues, do we bathe ourselves in the banality of who was Justin Timberlake’s date at Spago’s last night?

Our stock answer is, “It is the media’s fault.”

Well, the sad fact about media is nothing makes it on the cover of People Magazine, on the speakers of our XM radios or the screen of our IPods unless…it sells.  Nielsen Ratings, how many of us are listening and watching this tripe, will determine what is on our media menu today.

It is simple: if we are buying, the media will sell.

So why our appetite for the asinine?

First, I am convinced we are anesthetizing ourselves with ridiculous ruminations about “stars” because we cannot handle the scariness of our headlines.

Our preoccupation with the insignificant is an ego-defense mechanism.  Whenever threats get too close, we slide into regression and start manically laughing about Winona Ryder’s latest shoplifting spree.  These celluloid characters seem to help us cope.

Really, who wants to have an intelligent, concerned conversation about global warming, Darfur or meth labs in our neighbor’s garage when there has just been a sighting of Ellen Pompeo and fiancée Chris Ivery?

This is all about the “easy button.”  It is much easier to lose ourselves in fatuous verbiage about the Oscars (let’s spend about ten minutes discussing Jack Nicholson’s shaved head) than come up with a solution about the 48 million people in this nation who do not have health care coverage.

Second, I think we are bored.  I know, I know, we are all doing more with less.  The problem is the “more” we are doing has created a workforce of humanoid-robots.  Granted, we move faster and more efficiently, but we are also moving to the beat of some employment warden who constantly cranks up the speed on our treadmill.

The automated, spreadsheet-driven, you-can-be-replaced workplace has sucked out our hearts and our heads.  We are “making our numbers” but, unfortunately, are not, at the same time, making a life.

The only fun in life seems to be stopping before work for an over-priced cup of java, a quick lunch at a drive-thru, a Lean Cuisine microwave meal and then…Entertainment Tonight.  After all, we reason, the lives of the rich and famous are so much more enticing than our own.  Bring on Inside Hollywood.

Finally, I am convinced we get velcroed to the vacuous because our spirituality is running on empty. 

Spirituality is our search for Someone larger than us.  The Someone introduces us to the wonder and creativity of our ability to take up space on this globe right now.  This awe-inspiring moment never leaves us the same.

The Someone beats out a different cadence than we will hear on our Bose Surround Sound. This Someone gently reminds us that our faith is never a call to make a U-turn back to ourselves.  Our pews may be packed, but I am having trouble putting together the “People of the Truth” with the “People of the Tube.” 

Let’s turn it off… and finally let Anna Nicole rest in peace.          


*** LEMON TRAVEL TIPS ***

We have been horrified watching the lifeless, dozing bodies strewn across airport concourses or the home videos of incarcerated hordes on Jet Blue. This winter has been Hades in the heavens.

I am pleased to tell you I have dodged this aeronautical bullet. 

Here are some actions you can take to make sure you do not join these hapless victims.

First, build a personal relationship with a qualified travel agent.  The losers when the air system comes to a screeching halt are those who booked their tickets through a “discount web-based agency.”  Try to get someone to answer your call when using Travelocity or Expedia.  The “system” was so overloaded, it was days (personal stories related to me) before anyone was at home in these emporiums of cheap seats.

If you have a long-term relationship with a travel agent, these folks will keep your business by being accessible.  Most will give you an emergency, after-hours number so there will always be a real-live, breathing person to help you with rebooking.

Second, always travel with a cell phone.  If a flight is cancelled or delayed, call your travel agent or the airline while standing in the rebooking line.  Ask to be “protected” (a seat is saved for you) on the next available flight.  Program your cell phone with the 24 hour help line for the airlines you regularly use.

Third, join an airline club.  You will notice that every major airline has a “club lounge” in major airports.  Instead of going to the “service desk,” speed over to the club and they will reroute you.  I find this yearly fee has saved me thousands of dollars in lost business because I was immediately helped by seasoned professionals.

Finally, and most important, build a personal relationship with airline staff at your airport.  If you can greet these people by first name and remember he/she has teenagers who have been “challenging lately,” you have someone who will take care of you. 

I am at 32,000 feet right now while writing this part of LeMonAide, rebooked through a new hub city…and will arrive at my destination two hours earlier than my original flight plan…all because I have a “friend” behind the counter!


*** LEMON-N-DATES ***

If you would like to personally meet with me during the month of March, here is my schedule.  Please call 800-373-4040 to set up an appointment.

Date

Location

 

March 1

Ooltewah, Tennessee

 

March 2

Springfield, Missouri

 

March 5  

Boston, Massachusetts

 

March 6 & 7  

Springfield, Missouri

 

March 10  

Springfield, Missouri

 

March 12

Springfield, Missouri

 

March 13  

Manhattan, Kansas

 

March 14

Sedalia, Missouri

 

March 15  

St. Louis, Missouri

 

March 20  

Kansas City, Missouri

 

March 21  

Orlando, Florida

 

March 22

Ft. Myers, Florida

 

March 23

Columbus, Ohio


*** LEMON LETTERS ***

We are regularly confused about singular pronouns.  Take a minute to review the next paragraph.  You will find a list below of indefinite pronouns that are always singular.  They are usually used as nouns, but a few of them (such as each and every) are used as adjectives.

The singular indefinite pronouns are:  anyone, anybody, anything, each, each one, everyone, everybody, everything, every, many a, someone, somebody, something, either, neither, no one, nobody, nothing, one, another.

Therefore, here are some illustrations on how these singular indefinite pronouns are to be used correctly.

“Every organization has its own retirement program.” (not “…their own retirement….”)

“Neither one of the campaigns did as well as it promised its loyal voters.” (not “they promised….")


*** LEMON BITTERS ***

This is a hard lesson to learn…do not put all your business in one basket.

I was flying high!  This particular company was filling every little block on my calendar and asking for more.  They put me in the finest hotel, gave me a liberal per diem for food, showered me with accolades…and then changed senior management who had no understanding of me or my work.

My calendar suddenly had a lot of empty blocks.

If you are an entrepreneur or work in sales, be careful about consigning your future to one customer.


*** PRAYERS FOR THE PITS ***

I knew the white powder was not sugar. 

My teenager’s drawer, just behind the socks.

I am angry because I have been betrayed.  I am scared because I do not want to lose my child.

I want to bathe this betrayal and fear in the well-worn words, “After all we have done for you….”

Lord, share Your words and wisdom with me in the next few minutes.  My hands and heart are shaking.  I do not trust me right now.

My child needs me and I know I have to plow through my grief to touch his heart.

Before I try to put a sentence together, Dear Lord, put me together.

 

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