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I was
waiting for Judge Seidlin to suddenly turn to the camera with a
self-assured grin, “America, you have been had. This has been the
greatest hoax since 'The War of Worlds.' Anna Nicole is alive and
well in LA surrounded by the 14 men who are the biological father of
Dannielynn.”
Every
Larry King Live Show, every Court TV, every HeadlineNews broadcast, every
time this celebrity-soaked-insanity sloshed over my ear drums, I thought
for sure this was a joke. Who, I reasoned, would savor this tripe?
Well,
the sad answer is…us.
If you
have not noticed, we have been fiddling with our TV remotes while our
national psyche has been burning.
Consider,
for just the next eight seconds, the blizzard of banality that has lately
blown across our 42-inch plasma screens.
Britney
decided to shear herself as the latest sacrificial lamb on the altar of the
rich and famous. Rosie and The Donald have increased their ratings
(and fortunes) by decreasing decorum. Beth Ostrosky gushed about her
liaison with shock-jock, Howard Stern, “I just feel so blessed that he’s
all mine.” And, this lunacy goes on.
At the
same time, the IEDs in Iraq are still snuffing out American lives in
nanoseconds. There is a lurking, ominous nightmare that Pakistan,
hijacked by religious extremists, will have the keys to nuclear
weapons. AIDS continues to mow down millions each year.
Domestic abuse is legion in our communities.
If you
have not noticed, all is not well…among us.
So why,
in the face of profound issues, do we bathe ourselves in the banality of
who was Justin Timberlake’s date at Spago’s last night?
Our
stock answer is, “It is the media’s fault.”
Well,
the sad fact about media is nothing makes it on the cover of People
Magazine, on the speakers of our XM radios or the screen of our IPods
unless…it sells. Nielsen Ratings, how many of us are listening and
watching this tripe, will determine what is on our media menu today.
It is
simple: if we are buying, the media will sell.
So why
our appetite for the asinine?
First, I
am convinced we are anesthetizing ourselves with ridiculous ruminations
about “stars” because we cannot handle the scariness of our headlines.
Our
preoccupation with the insignificant is an ego-defense mechanism.
Whenever threats get too close, we slide into regression and start
manically laughing about Winona Ryder’s latest shoplifting spree.
These celluloid characters seem to help us cope.
Really,
who wants to have an intelligent, concerned conversation about global
warming, Darfur or meth labs in our neighbor’s garage when there has just
been a sighting of Ellen Pompeo and fiancée Chris Ivery?
This is
all about the “easy button.” It is much easier to lose ourselves in
fatuous verbiage about the Oscars (let’s spend about ten minutes discussing
Jack Nicholson’s shaved head) than come up with a solution about the 48
million people in this nation who do not have health care coverage.
Second,
I think we are bored. I know, I know, we are all doing more with
less. The problem is the “more” we are doing has created a workforce
of humanoid-robots. Granted, we move faster and more efficiently, but
we are also moving to the beat of some employment warden who constantly
cranks up the speed on our treadmill.
The
automated, spreadsheet-driven, you-can-be-replaced workplace has sucked out
our hearts and our heads. We are “making our numbers” but,
unfortunately, are not, at the same time, making a life.
The only
fun in life seems to be stopping before work for an over-priced cup of
java, a quick lunch at a drive-thru, a Lean Cuisine microwave meal and
then…Entertainment Tonight. After all, we reason, the lives of the
rich and famous are so much more enticing than our own. Bring on
Inside Hollywood.
Finally,
I am convinced we get velcroed to the vacuous because our spirituality is
running on empty.
Spirituality
is our search for Someone larger than us. The Someone introduces us
to the wonder and creativity of our ability to take up space on this globe
right now. This awe-inspiring moment never leaves us the same.
The
Someone beats out a different cadence than we will hear on our Bose
Surround Sound. This Someone gently reminds us that our faith is never a
call to make a U-turn back to ourselves. Our pews may be packed, but
I am having trouble putting together the “People of the Truth” with the
“People of the Tube.”
Let’s
turn it off… and finally let Anna Nicole rest in
peace.
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