Whenever I begin to see emerging tulips bathed in warm sunshine…it is also time to remember the people who actually keep our organizations working:  the administrative professional.  One of my long-term clients has been the International Association of Administrative Professionals (IAAP).  Take time today to say “thank you” to an administrative professional who silently and expertly keeps our workplaces productive.

You have known for months this person loathes the ground you walk on.  And, this antipathy has nothing to do what you have said or done.  You were chosen to be the manager/supervisor in your workplace…the title this person wanted more than breathable air.

When I ask people in either my coaching program or a workshop, “Who is someone who is a difficult person at work?”, I normally hear about an employee who was not selected for the management position presently held by the people in the audience.

If you are doing battle with someone who wanted the title on your business card, these next few lines may be of help to you.  Here is a step-by-step intervention you can take with the spurned colleague.

First, do not pretend this never happened.  Your jealous, angry or resentful coworker (maybe all three emotions have taken up residence) is dealing with grief.  He/she lost something.  And, you parade this loss every time you cheerily gush, “Good morning!”

So, make an appointment, close the door and say, “I am concerned we are not working well together and I believe my selection for a management position is the cause of our interpersonal uncomfortableness.  Am I right or wrong about my assumption?”

There it is, out in the open!

The two of you will move forward with either option you offered.  If the person believes you are in error then respond with, “Thank you for clarifying this for me and what other reason is there for how ineffective we have been working with each other?”

Notice I keep asking questions because I want us to talk about real issues and stop the emotional air-kissing.

If this person vying for your job says, “Well, you know what, you are right,” immediately respond with, “Tell me more.”  Get ready to do a lot of listening while this person expunges his/her mind and soul.  The “coming out” will be positive because the venting will relieve the need to passively-aggressively “make you pay.”

Second, communicate genuine empathy.  Empathy comes out of your heart, not your head.  Since this person has taken a risk, the last response he/she should pick up from you is patronization.  If you, in effect, pat this person on the head with a condescending “poor you” message, count on your relationship only becoming more toxic and clandestine in the future.

Use statements like, “I did not realize that….” or “I can now understand why you may have perceived me….”  If you are open and reflective, your colleague will slowly tear down the defensive emotional walls that have separated the two of you.

Finally, talk about the realities the two of you have to acknowledge.  First, candidly and carefully acknowledge you will not be giving up your position so this person can, belatedly, be chosen to sit at your desk.  Second, the two of you will need time to trust each other again.  Third, either of you has the right to ask for time to keep talking about this situation.    

Your worst choice is to admit to yourself you know why this person is hacked with you and then…do or say nothing.  Your silence will make you a passive co-conspirator in a sick working relationship. 

It is one of those magnetic book titles that reached out and would not let me go.   What Would Google Do? (by Jeff Jarvis, ISBN: 978-0-06-170971-5) is even better than the cover.

Jarvis touts Google (the name has become a verb in our language) as the new business model for success in this post-recession economy.  He will treat the reader to fascinating insights which include, “The mass market is dead—long live the mass of niches,”  “Google commodifies everything,” and “Make mistakes well.”

Google, you will discover, is morphing itself into a new company every few nanoseconds.  The ironclad, monolithic corporation with a 20 year strategic plan has been replaced with backpack efficiency which demands the consumer, not the boardroom, write the business plan for…tomorrow.

I found Jarvis’ tour through Google refreshing and scary.  If you are open to challenge and a wild, incredibly profitable ride into the future of your organization, crack open these pages.  

New CD Training Program—“Skills to Say What You Want to Say”

Throughout my coaching interventions with a frustrated staff person I have repeatedly asked the question, “Why don’t you just say at work what you just told me?”  In response I heard, “I could never say that!” 

If you have trouble framing words that accurately represent your thoughts and feelings, this 50-minute CD will offer your three risk-free verbal paradigms for lacing your words together when you don’t think you have the right to express yourself.

There is a new feature in this CD which I will be using in all future productions.  I will illustrate the skills I present by taking you into a “virtual workplace scenario” using professional actors and workplace sound effects.  When listening we all learn more if we can visualize.  The intriguing voices and “background noise” of a real work environment will create images which, in turn, will enhance your learning.

To order the CD, please go to www.execenrichment.com and choose the Our Products option.  You'll see all my CDs currently available.

New Free Article

“The Problem with Mulch Madness” is for any of us who keep trying quick, temporary fixes for long-term problems in our lives or careers.

Using the metaphor of “mulch” (I recently had a ton of it dumped in my driveway) I explore how just spreading mulch over unprepared or weed-choked ground is a fruitless, albeit “nice-looking,” momentary solution.

When looking at your life or career, can you admit you should have done the hard work up front instead of using up years pulling weeds out of what would have been robust dreams?  If your answer was “yes,” download this article or you can also reprint it in your organization’s newsletter.

To obtain the article, go to www.execenrichment.com and choose the Downloadable Resources option.  After filling out a brief form, you should choose the Articles option and you will see a list of articles currently available for download.  Should you use an article in a organizational newsletter, please give me credit for writing the article and send me a copy of the publication.

So, you want to give a gift to a client.  Nice idea…just give it carefully.

Here are the assumptions that will craft what you give and to whom.

First, gifts should always please, not appease the client.  If you are trying to say “I’m sorry,” or “You can count on gifts if I get your business” your gift will be manipulative.  If the gift does not communicate “I just want to say thank you for the privilege of working with you,” the gift becomes an expense to make the deal.

Second, the gift should be emblematic of you and your organization.  If you ran out and “just grabbed something,” this lack of genuine, thoughtful customization will become apparent.  In other words, does the gift match you and your service?

Third, regardless of the cost, a handwritten note should always accompany the gift.  The time you took to personalize the note will get lodged in the mind of your client even after the person can no longer find your gift.

Finally, it is always appropriate for the gift to arrive without you being present.  If you personally hand over the gift, especially in front of others, suspicion may be end product of what should have been a genuine giving moment.

I call it my “focusing time.”

If you are a coffee drinker, as I am, you may be familiar with this routine.  I make the coffee the night before so just a flip of a switch will get the brew bubbling over those fragrant grounds.  With the hot cup cradled in my two hands, I focus.  I am alone.

For some people this “stare time” is meditation, yoga or prayer.  For me, it is a decidedly spiritual moment when I commit the day and my gifts back to the Giver.

You know what will happen as soon as you turn on your computer, check messages, fly down the road and get to a workplace already barking out demands.  Before 9:00 a.m. we are sure there is no way we will ever accomplish everything that has landed on our desk.

When I talk with people who astound me with their productivity, I hear about a daily “focusing” moment normally at the very beginning of the day. 

So, to control your time today use what you say you do not have enough of:  time.  Take a few special minutes to focus your self-esteem, self-worth and self-discipline on what you want to happen in the coming hours.

I wrote about this travel trapdoor in the first issue of LeMonAide.  Five years later I am repeating some bad history.

Recently I returned a rental car in Colorado Springs.  The agent walked around the vehicle, scanned the bar code on the window and gave me a receipt in less than a minute.  I loved the efficiency.

About a month ago I received a written notice from this rental car company notifying me there was “damage” when I returned this car.  I called the 800 number and talked with an agent who informed me the windshield had a major crack.

I did not pay a dime because of two preventative steps I take every time I rent a car.  First, I never move a rental car until I have physically walked around the vehicle to assess whether or not I am driving off with someone else’s dents or damage.  Second, I always ask the name of the person checking the car upon my return.

This entire conversation on the 800 number came to a quick halt when I gave them the name of the person who walked around the car.  End of story. 

This tidbit could save you thousands:  walk around before you drive off and when you return write down the name of the person who, in effect, said with the completed contract, “This car has no damage.”

My newest addition to your learning may, literally, change your life.  I have recorded a MP3 file entitled, “The Myth about Getting Even.”

If you have been victimized in your personal or professional life and the victimizer keeps showing up, this audio message will be helpful.

But, you be the judge.  Download this on to your cell phone, iPod or iPhone and listen carefully for new ideas on how to deal with the old news that you are the victim.

To listen to the broadcast, go to www.execenrichment.com and choose the Downloadable Resources option.  After filling out a brief form, you should choose the Podcast option and you will see a list of articles currently available for download. 

What do you do if someone has just purchased your product and/or services and this person wants her money back?

As fast as you can, write out the check!

The intent of a long-term sales relationship is trust.  Within a reasonable period of time (this should be in writing), “buyer’s remorse” must be honored.  If you argue, delay or become confrontational, your sales career will be seriously injured.  No one forgets the sales person who gives the message, “You buy it, you keep it.”

Not only will you never see this client again, you can now count on this person becoming your worst sales nightmare who will tell, in lurid detail, his horrid tale to at least 11 other people.


Date Location
April 28, 2009 Independence, Missouri
May 5, 2009 Houston, Texas
May 8, 2009 Madison, Alabama
May 12-13, 2009 Houston, Texas
May 14-15, 2009 Fargo, North Dakota
May 19, 2009 Peoria, Illinois
May 21, 2009 Houston, Texas
May 22, 2009 Ooltewah, Tennessee

Here is a great way to end this edition of LeMonAide.  How about a brief treatise on agreement with indefinite-pronoun antecedents (please, contain yourself!).  Actually, this is interesting stuff.  Take a moment to absorb these two simple principles.

First, use a plural pronoun when the antecedent is a plural indefinite form.  Here are the indefinite pronouns that are always in the plural:  many, few, several, others, both.

Illustrations:
Many customers prefer to help themselves in Big Box stores.  
Both managers said they wanted to attend the leadership workshop.

Second, the following indefinite forms may be singular or plural, depending on the noun to which they refer:  all, none, any, some, more, most.

Illustrations: 
Some of the employees did not have their co-pay withheld.
Some of the report has been read, but it was not essential for the meeting.