Ringggg…Ringggg…Ringggg

The meeting had been plodding on for about 35 minutes nearing a collaborative decision when the grating sound of someone’s cell phone punched the air with its teeth-grinding interruption.

Whether it is a Treo 700, a Blackberry, a Samsung or a Nokia these slivers of silicone are invading our workplaces with renditions of the William Tell Overture, Barry Manilow’s “I Write the Songs the Whole World Sings” or U2.

When are we going to rein in this incessant ringing?

I am convinced our workplaces have to censor the cell.  These carriers of convenience are also polluting our professionalism.  So, I have designed a new protocol for the use of cell phones at work.  Does this make sense to you?

First, all cell phones, pagers and Internet access devices should be turned off at all meetings.  Think about it.

Research suggests the worst waste of time in any workplace is…meetings.  They normally are poorly structured, ineptly conducted and do not add to the bottom line.  Then stir into this inefficient stew an open-season on electronic devices that will guarantee the people who do not want to be there will stay awake by whispering into a miniscule microphone or rotating a wheel through the latest e-mails.

Just let everyone know the time in the meeting is sacred and any electronic interruption will not be tolerated.

Second, all electronic manacles have to be turned off during a presentation.  As someone who regularly crafts words, timing, inflection and syntax to episodically arrest minds and emotions, the ringing of a phone is like a bar crowd who breaks into a Sunday morning sanctuary.

Third, I am convinced that when engaged in a professional conversation at work a cell phone should not be answered.  If the cell phone user is expecting an urgent or emergency call, he or she should say before the conversation begins, “I am expecting a call that I will have to answer.  If that is not acceptable to you, please let me know.”

Fourth, if a call comes in during an informal conversation with a group of coworkers, excuse yourself and leave the room before answering.  If you have ever been in a closed environment when the “cell yell” cranks up, you know the irritation with someone who chose to be insensitive.

Finally, if voicemail is being checked, always have a pen with you before pressing the magic buttons.  Have you been near someone when he/she starts snapping fingers and pointing at the pen in your hand? Why would we listen to our messages if we are not prepared to write down a message or return number?

Now, check your phone.  Is the ringer on?  Do the people around you really want to hear “I Just Called To Say I Love You” right now?

Technology may save us time but the device to save ourselves from each other has yet to be invented.

Screaming your story assumes someone else wants to hear it.

If we cannot live without a cell phone and no one calls…then…check your pulse.

If you have the uneasy feeling that life, and our resulting language, is getting “dumbed down” to increase ratings and revenues, you have to pick up John McWhorter’s, Doing Our Own Thing (The Degradation of Language and Music), Gotham Books, 2003 (ISBN:  1-59240-016-7).

If the “fur surs,” “too cool dude” and “whatevers” are scouring your sensitivities, you will love this timeless tome.  This is not a rant against cultural change, but an appeal that change has to preserve the integrity of intellect and our ability to put together cogent communication.

McWhorter warns, “And this is indeed an American issue:  To be a modern American is to lack a native love of one’s language….”

So this author will take you on a mind-bending trip to examine why speech should not trump writing and why the poverty of oratory will bankrupt our national soul.

In my opinion this book, once discovered, will be worn out from rereading.

Two Free Articles

I have written two new articles that can be downloaded and printed in your organization’s newsletter/magazine or used in your personal career development.

An Interpersonal Communication Assessment

I have designed a short 10 item assessment instrument that will give you a reality-check on how effective you are as a communicator.  It works this way.  Download the instrument from my website at www.execenrichment.com (under the DOWNLOADABLE RESOURCES option) and make a minimum of five copies.  Distribute one copy to five different people you regularly engage in verbal communication.  Give each person scoring the assessment a blank envelope and instruct the person to not put his/her name on it and then place it in your mailbox.  Once you have received all the assessments you distributed, spread out the completed forms and look for “trends.”  You will quickly discover where you are excelling in your interpersonal communication skills and also the skills you need to improve. 

Becoming a Slave to Success

After 20 years of consulting and corporate training, I am convinced success can exact a heavy toll from those who decide to follow its enticing whisper.  This article provides five questions to ask yourself if you realize you have been killing yourself in the pursuit of your success.

Reduced Price

Would you like 50 people or more in your workplace to hear my 50-minute presentation Skills To Work With A Whiner?

Look at the list below of CD training programs I have available right now.  If you place an order for 50 or more CDs (the same or a combination of topics), I will reduce the price from $10.00 to $6.00 per CD.  Just click on “reply” to this LeMonAide and let me know what topics and amounts you would like.  My office will contact you to make the necessary arrangements.

“Skills For Increasing Sales”
"Skills To Verbally Defend Myself"
"Skills To Work With A Whiner"
"Skills To Find My Next Big Idea"
"Skills To Motivate The Stuck, Entitled Employee"
"Skills For Prioritizing My Chaos"
"Skills For Fighting Fair"

There was a time when political differences were a source of jokes and good humor. 

Kiss those days goodbye.

As a child I stood in front of the volunteer fire department on election day wearing an “I Like Ike” button.

As a teenager I rang doorbells for Jack Kennedy.

Every four years I morph into a political pinball machine bouncing and balloting my way into a candidate’s corner.  Sometimes I hit the jackpot, other times my political machine got unplugged.

So, you lose some and you win some, but politics used to be the bedrock for Johnny Carson monologues and Andy Rooney wisecracks.

Like the chrome fins on the 1961 Chrysler Newport, the non-threatening humor of politics is gone.

Of course, also is gone the Rockwellian single-family, one wage-earner, never-lock-the-front-door, tree-shaded Americana lifestyle.

Have you noticed, we do not talk openly about our political persuasions?  It is no longer safe.

Like members of a secret cult, we meet a stranger and begin to silently proof text that last comment, listen for the right or wrong key words, note the social context, backtrack to dropped media names and then throw this unknown person into an open box in our brain emblazoned with a “right” or “left” label.

Unfortunately, that political moniker, in this culture, may determine whether or not someone is hired or fired, business is transacted, an evening dinner is scheduled, our children play together, we sit in the same pew or you get a promotion.

Take note: politics has become deadly.

In our rush to commoditize our values, political parties have become a great place to park our principles.  We have reduced our ethics to the colors of red and blue, our tripwire words to conservative and liberal and our media heroes to O’Reilly and Obermann.  We want to scrub the path to the ballot box with a caustic concoction of values, religion and patriotism.

It is time for us to take responsibility for fulfilling the promise and wonder of our democracy:  we can and must disagree but we can never threaten life, employment or character because we vote differently.

This month I will again provide a potpourri of travel tips.

One of my good friends, Barry McCahill, gave me a suggestion about going through TSA security.

Barry points out that with everyone taking off his/her shoes in the same square footage in front of the metal detector, the potential for creepy, slimy germs invading your sole increases.  So, Barry suggests buying cheap, disposable socks that you can dump in the closest trash container after safely crossing the crud canyon.

Second, think about taking with you a small, battery-powered “white noise” machine if you will have an extended hotel stay.  This is a small price so you do not have to listen to the person in the next room clean out facial orifices.

Third, on the new “regional jets” ask for the single seat on the “A” side when the configuration of seats is three across.  If the jet has four seats across ask for a bulkhead seat.   Because of cramped quarters, believe me, these are the best seats in the sky.

Fourth, always check the snap-on lid at a drive-thru fast food outlet.  If you don’t, you may baptize your lap with Diet Coke before an important meeting.

Finally, if you carry a laptop and want to work in an airport, immediately scan the walls of the waiting area for electrical outlets.  You will normally find these next to doors, on support pillars or near a bank of pay telephones.  There is nothing worse than knowing you have to process work on a computer that just died in your lap.

If you would like to personally meet with me during the month of January, here is my schedule.  Please call 800-373-4040 to set up an appointment.

In this issue of LeMonAide I will give you several basic rules for using a hyphen.

The prefix re (meaning “again”) should not be followed by a hyphen.  A few words require the hyphen so they can be distinguished from words with the same spelling but a different meaning.  Note these illustrations:

When a prefix is added to a word that begins with a capital letter, use a hyphen after the prefix.

anti-Semitic
un-American
pro-Republican
pre-Revolutionary War days

Always hyphenate family terms involving the prefix great or the suffix in-law , but treat terms involving step and grand without the hyphen.

my great-grandmother
my stepdaughter
my grandchild

Watch gluing together assumptions about people you do not know.

I had just met the man in the lobby.  He invited me to his office and I was feeling confident.  Chit-chat with this potential client was dripping like honey on a July afternoon.

Upon walking into his office I immediately picked up on the prominent photos of children on the credenza behind his desk and asked, “How old are your grandchildren?”

He paused and said, “Those are my children.”

It is hard getting started again, Lord.  I don’t want to go back to work…and I don’t want to slay any new dragons this year.

Fresh starts don’t seem to impress me.  Dark, cold mornings depress me.  And winter is an abscess on my soul.

My soul, that’s Your area, right?

My soul is as tired as my body.  My spirit is dragging through each sunrise like a homeless man looking for something…

Surprise me, Lord.  Show up tomorrow and let me hear the rustle of Your presence.