There is an opening for a mid-level management position which would be a quick and well-deserved promotion for you.  The vice-president for your group chose someone else.
An employee who is a direct report to you was initially enthusiastic about your methods to improve workflow in your department.  In the past few months this enthusiasm has morphed into cynicism. 
You have enjoyed widespread support for your leadership.  In a staff meeting today everyone at the table seemed to take an opposing point of view to your insight and initiatives.  The “ganging up” atmosphere was new and hurtful.
Sound familiar?
We have all been sold the message, “When you move up in any organization and become a member of management, be prepared, it is lonely at the top.” 
You may have thought that aphorism was double-dipped in bureaucratic pessimism.  “Surely,”  you reason, “exercising leadership cannot be dangerous—it is for the tough who get going when the going gets tough”  Yadda, yadda, yadda.
I am convinced leadership is laced with threat and the scariest moment may be tiptoeing through the psychological mine field of rejection.  Let’s just say it out loud…your staff will often appear to reject you because they did not your message.
It is so easy to string together these clichés right now, “Get over it, develop a thick skin,” “If it is too hot in the kitchen, get out,” and “Stop whining and act your age.”
Those easy words do not make the rejection any easier.
So, what do you do when the people you lead or those who have political power over you reject your ideas or leadership style?
First, assess what you have just lost.  Did you loose positional power, money, status, friendships, influence or “face”?  Be candid with yourself about the severity of your loss.
I am the first person to tell you that kissing-off cash, positional power and status are deficits that sting.  But notice these losses are temporary.  They will ebb and flow with the environment.  A raise in salary, a title and a new office (with a window) can be quickly restored.
The harder issue is the “face” thing.  It is hard to find the words to shroud this agonizing feeling.  Let me try.
Losing face means the reality of your situation does not match your self-image.  You see yourself as “above” or “different from” what has just happened.  This injustice is not “worthy” of you.
“Saving face” leads to the second initiative when dealing with rejection.
 When you experience rejection you have ask yourself,  “Is my loss a rejection of me or my role?”
Let’s go back to the first scenario in this article.  If your boss chose someone other than you for a promotion, make an appointment and find out why.
You are screaming right now, “Right, I am already devastated, why not give this person a three-foot sword, from The Gladiator, to join Russell Crow and just run me through!”
You will never know if your boss’s decision was generated by antipathy for you as a person, the qualifications of the person who did get the position or if you need to develop measurable skills sets…unless you ask.
The worst choice right now is to slink away into some hovel of  humiliation and crown yourself today’s “Biggest Loser.”
Your final option for dealing with rejection is look in the mirror and say, “You cannot make everyone happy who works for you.”
Making people “happy” is not in the job description of leadership.  Your responsibility is to give your staff the resources and emotional encouragement for them to craft their own futures. 
When you labor to keep everyone smiling, cooperative and generally a great stand-in for Mr. Rogers, you keep them infantile.  You have guaranteed they are the children and you are their parent…on a salary.
So, welcome to rejection at work.  There will be some people who think you walk on water and there are others who believe you are just all wet.
Rejection means just when you think you are divine, be prepared to take a bath.