There are moments in the development of a professional career when someone can permanently damage his future. The emotional scratches, dents and abrasive words of an out-of-control "scene" can hound this person into a dead end future. The damage has been done and there is no career disinfectant that can sanitize the pages of this person’s work history.

The eternal, destructive emotion is rage.

Notice, the emotion is not anger.

Anger is a legitimate human emotion which alerts both the brain and body there is an impending threat.

If someone suddenly pulls within eight inches of your front bumper, while driving 75 miles an hour, you are initially frightened and then...you are furious. This thoughtless, nameless stranger almost ended your life. Anger is a positive, protective emotion which keeps us safe.

Rage is another story.

Rage is anger without "filters." Filters are often non-verbal societal agreements that scream to us, "Take a deep breath," "Do not respond right now using those words," or "What will you gain by verbally opening a new orifice on this person’s body which you know will end your employment?"

Rage is all about control, self-control.

It is my experience the most frequent reason why promising careers fade into professional oblivion is lack of control.

And, right now, you are sputtering, "Yeah, well what if you are being regularly victimized in your career?" Resign.

That’s right, just walk into the victimizer’s office and hand over a neat, typed letter of resignation.

There is no "come-to-divinity-moment," there is no screaming, there is no threatening... just leave.

The control of this moment must remain with the victimized.

The problem with an out-of-control professional who may be trying to glean a pound of flesh with diatribes never uttered by a human being is…we do not trust people who lose emotional control. And, our scream-fests become our professional business card forever and ever and...well, you get the idea.

So, what do you do when you know you are on the edge of rage and about to join the cast of "Hannibal Lecter and Friends"?

Begin by admitting you have the potential to be a fallible person. If you are convinced there are no circumstances that could ever entice you to move to the "dark side," you are setting yourself up for a colossal fall. Emotionally smart people know there is always a "scene" being set somewhere with the right combinations of environment, personality defects and abhorrent words that could reveal someone inside they have never met.

Once honesty prevails, create emotional "exits." When you know you are sliding down a slippery emotional slope, you may want to say, "I will need some time to think through my response to what you have said," or "I do not agree" and just walk away.

The intent of this coping mechanism is to represent you and then find space. Space is the only territory where control can grow. In other words, you have to carve out a hinterland of nothingness where you can get perspective. If you take the "bait" from the victimizer, you will start marching to the beat of his drum.

Assuming you are alone, it is time to do some reality-testing. Here is when you have a quiet conversation with a trusted friend. This should be someone who has proven he/she will tell you the truth and then lead you to your own conclusions. You should consistently hear from this person, "What do you think you need to do right now?"

Finally, once you are emotionally in control of yourself, it is time to talk, negotiate or leave the person who just pushed your hot buttons.

You may want to say to the bully, the schemer, the assassin, "Our encounter several days ago forced me to think through my responses. Not all of those options were positive. Here is my response..."

In total control, you will assertively represent what is going on in your heart and head.

Will you get everything you want? Probably not. What you will get is control. Control of you and your future.

Anger is a natural part of crafting a career; rage will always end it.