Your boss has some “stuff” you do not possess:  the power to fill in the little boxes on your annual performance review; the power to “write you up,” the power to sign your check, the power to say “no” to your ideas and the power to hand you a pink slip.
          The one thing your boss cannot do:  decide how you will see yourself when you look the mirror.
          We need a healthy dose of reality right now.  There are people, especially bosses, who can tell us what to do.  It’s real simple:  if we like the assets of working, we have to accept the liabilities of management.  Someone, somewhere, in our work lives will tell us what to do today. 
          But telling us what to do and how to do it is not tantamount to telling us who we are. 
          Your boss, in spite of how you feel about him or her, does not have the power to meddle with your self-esteem.  How, and if, you “value” yourself is still just your business.
          What does that mean?
          Well, if your boss is rude, insensitive or does not agree with you, that sounds like...life to me.  Robotic relationships are predictable, but not very interesting.  Your doctor, your spouse, your grocery store bagger, your children, your priest…all have the potential of becoming a royal pain in your posterior.  So what else is new?
          Language like, “He just ruins my day,” or “I feel so small around her,” or “He will be the death of me” are all the reactive responses of the “victim.” 
          I choose not to be the victim.  I do not think I am alone.
          I can say, “I found his comment to be demeaning” or “Her annual performance review of my work is not accurate.”  Those are statements about your boss, not about what your boss “does” to you.
          Self-esteem means we ascribe “value” to how we see ourselves.  I am not perfect, I constantly make mistakes and misspeak myself, but I do not see myself as a failure.  And, I refuse to allow anyone else to stamp that word on my forehead.
          The next time your boss presses your hot buttons or says something about you that you know is not true, say, “I will make my own choices about how I see myself.  My boss signs my check, but cannot assign how I see myself.”