You have heard this, right?
 “I cannot understand it, we have seven people on this team and we still cannot seem to communicate.”
Yes, your team has a “communication problem” for probably one of two reasons.  First, you are all up to your earlobes in passive-aggressive message-sending.  No one has the fortitude, the intestinal stamina, to place on the table the real issues, so you just continue to play adult games…that are incredibly childish.
Or, second reason your team has “communication problems” is no one has the skills to connect with each other. 
This article is about the skills.  Specifically, I have found there are nine skills that every team member has to master to keep the communication lines open and positive.  Let’s get started.
First, when someone on the team sends a non-verbal message that screams, “You are kissing up and you know it,”  “This team is a joke. We are nothing but a puppet for our boss” or “This meeting has been a complete waste of my time,” respond with an observation-question.
The observation-question would sound like this, “I sense you do not think this meeting has been a good use of your time.  Tell me, am I right or wrong about my assumption?” 
Do not let non-verbal messages become the communication method-of-choice.  Distortion, misunderstandings and wounded feelings will build like summer thunderheads over every team meeting if “looks” and innuendo become the only way you communicate.  Challenge the non-verbal messages on your team with an observation-question.
Second, share all relevant information.
Information, according to Dr. Henry Kissinger, is power.  If anyone on the team withholds essential information, it is an unabashed grab for power.  You can almost hear, “I know something the rest of you don’t know….” Require everyone to “over-communicate” which means if there is a hint that someone else on the team needs to know what you know…then tell him/her.
Third, focus on interests, not positions.
When a team gets fragmented into separate interest groups, it is easy to come out swinging about a particular position (“There are several of us who feel the same way.”).

Stop the meeting and ask this question, “What does everyone on this team have to gain if we settle our differences?”  It is a good question.  The answer is the “common ground” where everyone “wins” something.  This question will cast a positive spin on the deliberations ahead.
Fourth, disagree with positions, not people. 
If I say to you in a team meeting, “You are wrong about this...” defensiveness will be the result.  If you believe your team can effectively  work together after hearing that statement, you also had a conversation with the Tooth Fairy last night.
You can disagree with a perception, a collection of words, an opinion, but if you disagree with a person, be prepared for battle lines to be drawn in the sand.
Fifth, agree on the meanings of important words.
The team meeting is moving on and you look at me and say, “I thought you were empowered to do this.”  Well, what does “empowered” mean?
When the team is doing business and there is a possibility of ambiguity about a term, define those significant word(s) before moving on.  You will save the team hours of angst.
Sixth, keep team discussions focused.
One of the chief criticisms of working on a team is the group will become easily “sidetracked.”  Does your team have someone with the same axe to grind every session?  Does the team whiner continue to get air time?  Are you still stuck on the eternal topic of what senior management is getting paid?
These issues need to be addressed with, “I am asking us to return to the purpose of this team meeting.”  Regardless of your position in the team, make sure no one hijacks the team meeting.
Seventh, eliminate cheap shots.
You know, “Hey, I would be very happy to repeat my position again…assuming you can get it the third time.”
If you are a sarcasm superstar, refuse to use your ability to lance someone through the heart with a well-placed word.  Everyone will laugh and then they will avoid you.
Eighth, make a liberal use of the “sunset clause.”

This is a wonderful skill if the team is divided and cannot find agreement.  Here is the way this skill works. Try one of the options for a month.  At the end of the month evaluate, using objective criteria, whether or not this option worked.  If this option was a miserable failure, end it or “let the sun go down” on it.  Then initiate a totally new idea and continue using the sunset clause until you find an option that is a bona fide success.
Finally, conduct an annual team self-critique.
Every year hand out to team members an assessment instrument that measures the effectiveness of the team’s communications.  Make the design of the instrument a team effort and do not change this annual tool.  Benchmark how the team is doing by making a year-to-year comparison.  You may be surprised about the progress you are making.
Your team moves forward or gets stuck depending on how distorted or open the communication channels among the members.  How is your reception today?