Responding to the “Drama” at Work

Dr. Cal LeMon

You know, it’s time again for the “drama” at work.
You have seen it all before: exaggerated facial expressions, arms rotating like a Dutch windmill in a 70 mph gale, voices raised in crescendos of vibrato, hands drawing imaginary pictures of extreme pathos and tears cascading in torrents of internal torture. You get the picture.

Did those characteristics remind you of anyone in your workplace?
Maybe it is the proliferation of passion on hand-held electronic devices, ever-present 24 hour news cycles or the last Grammy Awards show… “drama” is epidemic and displays of emotional angst are coming to a workplace near you.

So, what do you do when confronted with the latest Academy-Award-Winning-I-Am-Having-A-Chernobyl-Style-Emotional-Meltdown? Your answer to that question will have everything to do with whether you are organizationally labeled “management” or “labor.”

First, if you are not in a management position and the “Drama Queen/King” works across from you, here are your options.

(1) When the coworker starts ramping up the exaggerated tenor of the conversation, respond by walking away. That’s right, just walk away. When the “stage” is empty and unlit, pull the person aside and say, “Two hours ago you will notice I walked out of your diatribe about…. I am uncomfortable in conversations when emotions take control. I would be happy to tell you exactly what offended me about that situation.”

(2) If that response is “not you,” try this. Immediately after the “scene” has concluded ask to speak with this person alone and specifically inform this budding thespian what about the “performance” was a turn-off for you. Make sure you do not tack on, “And, I am not the only person in this workplace who feels this way about you.” That is “triangulation” and the other person will immediately ask, “Who else are you talking about?” You do not want to go there because you will just start arguing about people who are not in the room.

(3) When there is no “drama” and it is just the two of you in the workplace…lose it! That’s right, fake a “drama moment” (you have wanted to do this for some time) and then stop… and ask this question, “What words came to your mind when you observed me just a moment ago?” Listen carefully to the description you heard and be ready to “parrot” these same words back when describing a dramatic moment played by this person in the recent past. You will be surprised how “therapeutic” this technique can be.

Second, if you are in the revered “management ranks” here are your choices when the drama club kids (your employees) start their predictable antics.

(1) You can play the Mad Max role. This means you just emotionally drive your psyche into the middle of the physical workplace and scream at the top of your lungs, “You people are just pathetic. Don’t you have any real work to do around here instead of going into these fits of tears and terror? If I keep observing these try-outs for the Golden Globe Awards in this workplace, there will be empty chairs all over the place. Now, control yourselves and get back to work.” This approach feels good but does not change the workplace.

(2) You could do your own Vaudeville Show by talking about “drama” in your workplace and then tell everyone on the count of “3” they are to pantomime, without words, some of the distracting dramatic behavior they have seen in your organization. Now, this is great fun. People will laugh, cajole and appropriately “needle” each other, but also give you a comfortable forum for you to make the point that drama is getting epidemic.

(3) You can bring in an outside consultant who specializes in training staff how to express thoughts and emotions without creating resistance or alienation. This is, by far, the best option because: (1) the message comes from someone with no political axe to grind, (2) the presentation will include addressing the “drama” but give other important communication skills and (3) this approach will be viewed by your employees as “enrichment” instead of “correction.”